Jan. 8th, 2008

rewritethepast: (sad)
[Note: Sap warning.]

Today, I might just see you.

I don't know which is worse, seeing you or not.

I'll be with my classmates, and you... well, I don't even know if I'll see you since I doubt everyone from your campus will be marching along with us.


Isn't it funny? My heart, it's beating so fast at the thought of seeing you again, of seeing the wind play with your hair, seeing that smile of yours that makes the world seem so much brighter.

I know nothing good will come out of this, this hypothetical situation of mine where I'll see you from afar as I stay with those I'm with now and you with yours, but for one moment, one fleeting moment that I can see you, your hair that I envy its lightness, your eyes like the Manila sky at midnight, ah, just you...

Who cares about the tears, the unbreakable distraction, the failed tests that will come after if I can just see you again?

And if I could hear you laugh, or speak, or sing, to have the colors from your voice surround me completely...

Ah, you'd tell me I was insane if I were a stranger but you know my condition, my crossed neurons that generate colors when sound waves pass into my ear. To be wrapped in the colors you speak, the colors that only belong to you in my mind, to see them in real time and not in remembered memories or lucid dreams...

Perhaps today will be the last time I'll see you, perhaps I won't see you at all, perhaps it won't be the last time either.

Isn't it funny to have so many possibilities running around in one's head, making up fantasies and hypothetical situations instead of memorizing physics formulas and the mechanics of fertilization?

Today, later, how many hours more, and I think something which will make me seem rather pathetic:

It'll be enough to breathe the same air that you do, even just for a moment. Ne? Not to mention the air you breathe now is much less polluted than the air I breathe now. No asthma attacks!

Because I know, I'm resigned, I know that's all I'll get, can ever expect to get, and strangely, it's enough for me now.

I just hope I can control myself if I see you, as my classmates might notice me looking like a lovesick fool and tell you this.

That would be awkward, given that most of them won't know who you are.

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