rewritethepast: (determined)
[personal profile] rewritethepast
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to honor the passing of my highly faithful-

Ehh, no one here except me and a congregation of stuffed toys.

Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears

Wrong occasion.

Fourscore and seven years ago

What The Hell.

Let's cut to the chase.

Yesterday, yesterday was the day I had something very near to my brain killed. It was a painful death, which resulted in the destruction of peripheral observers and my inevitable exposure to a dangerous substance.

Yesterday, a vein died.

Alas, poor Vein! I knew it, readers, a vein with infinite blood-carrying duties, of most excellent fancy.

Fitting, but ah well.

The vein in question was located somewhere up my nose, and was put to death (actually cauterized) by my doctor specializing in matters of the nose (and ears and throat). The murder weapon utilized in this case is the much maligned yet undoubtedly powerful substance Silver Nitrate (AgNO3). It was a very painful death (even with the aid of an anesthetic) and up to now I still feel the pain from which it was burned away.

Now why would I allow (and pay, even) for the death of my beloved vein (actually, it's more of a blood vessel, but it seems more dramatic -and takes less letters- to use vein; also, my doctor expressly called it a vein) who has undoubtedly served me well all these years by helping to carry blood back to my heart? How could it have wronged me by doing its duty?

Err, it all has to do with my imposed new favorite chemical substance, formalin, which I am in direct contact with at least two times a week (as of now).

Since I have allergic rhinitis, I am generally more prone to nosebleeds than the average person. Unfortunately formalin (in large quantities) apparently irritated my (already irritated) nose to the point of the blood vessel tearing and there we go. I had observed nosebleeds for err, all the days I had up close and personal encounters with my formalin-drenched friend and thus came to the doctor wondering why.

So now I mourn the passing of a vein which could not withstand the chemical inhalant of preservation and wonder had I had continued with my original planned course (Chemical Engineering/Management Engineering) if my vein would still be alive and not ever have to die.

(At least it didn't come to the point of blood coming out of my eyes. Yes, my doctor warned me about it when he was convincing me to undergo the cauterization.)

***

There's more than one way to skin a cat, they say.

Well, now I know ONE way to skin a cat.

Unfortunately the ONE way I know of skinning a cat involves a lot of sweat, up close and personal encounters with said cat and formalin it's soaked in, lots of tears (bodily reaction to said formalin, emotional response to desecrating/massacring cat body), and sharp blades (trust me, the ordinary dull scalpel blades that can be used successfully on frogs won't work so well here).

The dastardly school-mediated deed was done last Monday, July 23. We were able to choose our victim cat from the veritable crowd of cat corpses (thankfully already dead) contained in cylindrical black bags.

For me, cat skinning is much harder than frog skinning because of four things:
1. Cats are larger = more skin to remove.
2. Cat skin is more tough, especially in certain areas (like the cat tail).
3. Cats have hair, which hides the cuts you make. >_< It would be so much easier to skin a shaved cat. >_<
4. While we tended to skin the frog before dunking it in formalin (we dunked it after skinning), we skinned the cat that had been immersed in formalin for who knows how long. This resulted in periodic bouts of crying unintentionally and escaping the formalin dominating environment for a certain number of minutes (depending on the dissector), wrinkly fingers (formalin soaked through our protective gloves), headaches, and general odd smell of formalin becoming one's new perfume for the rest of the day (unless you sneak back home to take a bath).

The cat in question was fully grown and ours was definitely male (vestigial mammary glands, etc.). It looked like a normal run-of-the-mill cat (err, cat version of askal?) and died with its mouth open (even propped with a stick) and claws extended.

Oh poor cat. I'm sort of glad that I'm allergic to cat poop and therefore never had a cat as a pet; I don't think I can dissect a cat if I had one as a pet. (In general, I'm glad I never had a pet since so many animals are dissected here in UP Manila, some of which are turtles, sharks, earthworms, frogs, and chickens.)

Thankfully there was a bag for the cat supplied; if I had a problem with the cat bones, imagine the stares if I went out into the rest of Manila carrying a skinned cat in a suffering final pose. >_< I might get attacked by enforcers of the Animal Welfare Act (which would be very ironic as I had to report on that law for PopLaw).

Lately we've been focusing on its muscles (so many muscles >_<) and eventually we'll move on to its organ systems I guess.

Poor cat.

Poor us.

All this for the chance to wear a white blouse and pants with a nameplate brandished on your chest.

Poor us.

Poor cat.

***

Speaking of dissection of cats, it is more costly to acquire several cat corpses for extensive study than frogs because cats are more expensive (I think it's 350 pesos for one cat as opposed to 50 pesos for a frog.). I was thinking this while I entered school last Friday when I saw a cheery announcement at the guard's table: "Kittens 4 adoption, c guard on duty!"

Oh shoot. Please, not the kittens too. :(

***

A few hours with you all is more than I could ever have hoped for.

I missed you, Potassium people. Even though I had second thoughts (and third thoughts and even first thoughts) about going (since I knew exactly who were going), I'm glad I went.

Evil Manila flood making us late be damned. :(

***

Last Sunday I watched Pisay at the CCP with my mom (and Vinni and his parents, coincidentally). I won’t give away anything, really, but it does explain some of the Pisay myths that have been passed down for ages (for example, the myth of why there is no Calcium section anymore).

I’m amused at seeing my brother’s dorm room (I think it’s my brother’s dorm room) in the movie =P

A more coherent review will come after July 31, one that will dwell on plot points and stuff, so as to not spoil those who are watching on that date.

Short safe review: Waaaaah. It’s good. I miss Pisay even more than ever. =(

***

The Obligatory 20 things you want to say to 20 people but know you never will meme. Perfect for people like me who are extremely passive and sometimes feel the need to punch a person or something.

Very much inspired by Josef-san's version :) (since his version was the first one I saw).

Obligatory Disclaimer to protect self: Won't confirm or deny any of these pointing to a specific person. (I have a feeling what I'll write is totally obvious, but ah well.)

Ah, no. 17 is obviously a living famous person that I will never meet. But I do think the world would be much better off without him/her.

1. Your fascination with love, of other people's love lives, of who's with who and who likes who repels me sometimes. It's not your fascination per se that bites, it's how you make it known to other people.

And on my deathbed, I won't whisper in your ear the name of the one I loved, still love, will still love past the grave like I will to others because I never trusted you (even with our perfunctory interactions driven by alleged random selection) and I never will.

2. Am I a fangirl in denial? I know I'm not (it's not like that). It's just that I've known you for so long and...

I wish it weren't you who's accused, but I don't know what to think.

3. If I had been a better person, a better partner, would I have been able to stop you from becoming a shell of your former self?

I wish you could answer me, because what happened to you (and what should have but didn't) still eats at me inside.

4. I pretended not to hear what you said once, but I heard it. I heard and understood why you said it.

But if you said it again, I'd still pretend not to hear it. :(

5. Sometimes, sometimes when I dissect animals, I superimpose your face on theirs and end up having to watch myself lest I whisper your name and let my classmates know that sometimes I wish to vivisect you.

I'm not proud of it, even more since you don't even look like the animals I superimpose your visage on.

6. I honestly never thought I'd see you again, or that we'd know each other yet again.

Sometimes I wonder what my world would be like without you in my life.

I can't begrudge you what gave us this opportunity, as you possessed it even then. I wonder though, since I thought I had it, but countless years after made me lose it.

7. I don't know where I'd be had you not become my friend again. Your friendship's been my rallying point, sometimes the only thing I can depend on in such a polluted area.

I'm glad I was able to swallow my pride for you. For me, pride's a bitter pill I rarely swallow but I'd welcome the taste a thousand times just so we'd be friends for a long long time more (perhaps forever).

8. I wonder, if I had met you first, would I be writing about you instead?

Because even now that I met you after him I still think about you and how much better you are than him and how lucky the girls you like are. My heart flutters when you're by sometimes, yet not so much as when he's around.

You confuse me, my heart, my life. And I'll never get the guts to talk to anyone about you.

You're the one that should have been but never was.

9. I try to understand but I can't comprehend anything about it.

For some irrational reason, I've always disliked you. I try and try to rationalize it, list your good traits (and I believe there are many), but it always comes down to that nagging irrational conclusion.

10. I wish you'd be happy with what you have. Every time you complain about what you don’t have, I feel a twinge in my heart since I'll never have what you have, never acquit myself academically as you have repeatedly, never have as much friends as you have, never walk without limping like you do.

11. I wish I had never walked into that room and found you as a recurring classmate. Perhaps if not for this, we'd still be friends (as compared to what the hell we are now). Alternatively, I wish you had taken a different Computer Science class, so that a certain person would not have influenced you into becoming the person I once avoided once again.

12. I sometimes imagine you with another guy, and I blush for some reason. I know you're male (you say you're staunchly male and I think I believe you =P), but for some reason it would make sense in my convoluted deranged farce of a mind if you and he (err, look at it this way, I only imagine you with ONE other guy - as if that helps >_<) became what I'd consider "we."

13. I'm not mad at you, honest. I adore you, I adore you and your quirks, the femininity you exude that I never really had (though I don't have a girl-crush on you =P).

I just wish, and this is something wicked, that you wouldn't make all our lives so much more complicated because of you and he and the indefinable thing between you two.

14. I know I'm a disappointment, a failure, a shell of a person that would be better appreciated had she been allowed to emerge fully in this world.

I wish you'd stop rubbing it in.

15. They tease me about you sometimes and I'm embarrassed mightily.

Other than the fact that I love someone else, it would be such a downgrade for you to even contemplate a more profound relationship with me.

16. I wonder if I'm an old shoe to you, one that was once comfortable to have yet now is nothing but an embarrassment to possess.

And you've cast me off, and I wish you haven't.

Is it my fault then, since I chose where to go?

Or was this always the grand conclusion, the inevitable event at the end of the road we walked together?

17. I sometimes wish the world would be better off without you.

But who am I to say this, since you'd made so much more of an impact on the world than I ever will?

18. I lost my temper lately, and I'm sorry.

But honestly, I think sometimes that the things you say shouldn't be said at all.

19. I miss you, and I think that if I had taken the course you took (as I originally planned to), I'd have a growing crush on you. This is for the best, since I'm never going to be worthy of you (and what you've been to me), and you deserve the world being who you are.

20. I love you. But this is for the best.

Someday I'll convince myself of the validity of that last sentence.

I will not confirm any of the 20 here (in lj or at my multiply), but if you catch up to me somewhere and you're relatively trustworthy I'll confirm any correct guess. (As long, of course, as you aren't the person being referred to by the number.)

***

Someone asked me to update and write about my thoughts on Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (otherwise known as Book 7, DH, the end of the HP series). I will not do this right now because I know that some of my classmates/friends (who read this lj) have not finished (or even started =P) the book. Wait a while, I'll do it eventually. (Honestly, I don't think I can write about it without using spoilers.)

Actually, I still haven't recovered from reading it.

And honestly, how do you say goodbye to a series you started reading when you were 10? :( I'm still trying to figure that out.

***

While dissecting, a cry arose from my classmates (who were hoping to escape the horror following our Bio Lab class otherwise known as Field Demonstration: UP Manila Style!): "Sunog!"

Lo and behold, looking out the corridor windows gave me the gristly sight of a large smoke cloud. I mistakenly thought the Supreme Court was burning again (ignoring the direction of the cloud, stupidly) but eventually found out that it was the Court of Appeals (or part of it) that had given in to its innate inflammability.

Supreme Court, Court of Appeals, what next? Department of Justice? >_<

***

[Comments screened because of this.]

I’ve known of this since July 20 (the video was released on July 19) but debated with myself on whether I should post this. After consulting with some people, though, I’ve decided to do so. I'm not going to say anything; I'm just leaving you with this because I believe that we should know (or those who wish to know have the right to know) the latest developments of the case. (This does explain what I have said in recent posts, though.)

Video found here.

For those who are not sure about the different kinds of cases (two of which are mentioned in the video), I'll explain using what I remember from PopLaw. As seen in this situation, one can file more than one kind of case (and have them tried at more or less the same time).

Administrative Case:
-> Decides status of defendant in relation to organization/corporation/establishment involved in the situation. In our case, it is in relation of the defendants to Pisay.
-> Possible rulings include being expelled from school, being fired from work, etc.

Criminal Case:
-> Attempts to look deep into hearts of defendant/s to see if he/she/they is/are capable of doing the assumed crime, if he/she/they did the alleged crime, and if he/she/they was/were in his/her/their right mind/s when (if proven) he/she/they committed the crime.
-> Possible rulings include being locked up in jail (for specified no. of days/months/years), being sent to juvi, or being declared innocent and free of all charges.
-> The names for these cases (in the Philippines) generally go by People of the Philippines v. (insert name of the defendant/s).

Civil Case:
-> Basically this kind of case deals with the awarding of damages (money) to the aggrieved (by rule of the judge) party.
-> I do not know if there is a Civil Case filed. There is no civil case filed, as confirmed by a reliable source (reliable to me, that is =P).

I'm pretty rusty on legalese though, so I'd appreciate any corrections (especially from my comrades in PopLaw).




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