rewritethepast: (determined)
[June 29, 2007: Edited to add more to the lists.]

Oddly, no one but you notices my questionable actions; you’ve woven the web around them so well that they don’t even feel bound. )


Lists that involve my hair and things and getting caught and not getting caught hopefully. )

* added on June 29, 2007


I wonder if my vote will really matter. Will it be used by others (among millions of other votes) for spurious means or will it remain untainted, clean? )


From my contest:
I met you in third year, but we were never really formally introduced. Your third year section is Rubidium. I admire your programming skills, they're phenomenal. You are really skilled with music :) I'm surprised you friended me on lj.

Belated happy birthday Kido-san! :) I hope it was a great day for you :)


I can't wait to watch Block 14's (and a Nursing block's) play "Isang Bakla sa Hukbo ni Aguinaldo." :) I'm sure you've all seen the poster with Ardynne-san on it (as Trebor-san, Lara-san, and Joanne-san have each posted it) :) When a copy first appeared in UP our block crowded around it and identified all the people we knew on it.

If anyone's watching on Saturday (May 19) at 2pm, you'll see me there :)

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rewritethepast: (resignation)
You know you need a break from life in general when you wake up in the morning, take a bath, and suddenly realize that you're about to put deodorant on your toothpaste.

Not like I can take one anytime soon, though.


The length of my lj entries is inversely proportional to the frequency of my posting them. )


Congratulations to Kim and Miggy for winning the Qwizardy (sp?) contest!

And a note to all of us: Starbucks was not founded by Mr. Star or Mr. Bucks. Just like the Johari window was not conceptualized by Mr. Johari.


Donk moment of the... wait, I think I have too many donk moments, period. )


Do you remember the day we cut class because we saw a hamster at the front lobby? )


[I’m really sorry this is late, Vinni-san; writing (rather, attempting to write) about hydrates and oxy-red reactions used up all my words.]

To my friend the demon warrior who beheaded me, hee. )


And the Coke and the beer stay untouched side by side, blending into the table and into the shadows and disappear from my sight. )


Sometimes love has to take a backseat to everything else, you know.

That time is now, but it won’t be for evermore.

Although it is nice to think that my last cry was induced not by angst but by prolonged aerial exposure to formalin.

But I can’t keep on running away forever, and I’m just waiting for the time when my path runs out and I slam into a brick wall.


And you try again, and I am reminded why I hate instant messengers. Honestly, the first time I use it in a long time (for schoolwork, no less) and you put me off it again with your deceiving messages sent at the wrong time and the wrong place. Then again, every time is the wrong time and everywhere we’re not face-to-face is the wrong place.

Am I cruel for not replying? I guess I am. Propriety demands that I at least reply to your message, no matter how distasteful, without feeling, and how fake it is. Then I remember what happened the last time (and please make it the last time) I followed propriety and I think I made the right decision.

Your words, I’ve heard them before. Tell me something new this time, or at least change the words. I’m sure you’re competent enough to check an online thesaurus.

I repeat, I repeat, and I repeat myself again: I’m not that kind. I’m not that naïve. I’m not that trusting anymore. If you’re going to try at all, put some more effort in it at least. And I'm not about to jeopardize my chance at contentment just to give you 'peace of mind.'


Okay. In light of it being Martin Luther King Day two weeks ago, I found out that Mr. King was murdered in Lorraine Hotel. (Thankfully it has been demolished.)

My birthname becomes more and more auspicious. *rolls eyes*


Nevertheless, I am still trying to be happy now. )


Poison makes me sleepy.

I stay in the back, though, so I can sleep to my heart’s content. (Unless there’s a test, of course.) Sleep or write in my planner or even do the Math module. >_<

Of course, poison sometimes weakens with time. Other times, it gets stronger, somehow evolves into a more destructive and virulent form of itself, because it was left to survive how many years.

In our case… it’s probably the latter.

Imagine a perfectly healthy frog, valiantly trying to hop away into the wilderness that is UP Manila, being held down by three or four girls with a male skinning its hind leg. )

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rewritethepast: (resignation)
I saw a tumor almost as big as my head last Wednesday.

Turn back now if your stomach is extremely weak.

Do you know that diapers can be used as bandages? )


Happy birthday Fria-san :) And Sir Vlad (as if he knows about this blog, lol)!


I have finally done one of the eight things I wanted to do before I died :)

I finally found a shrimp stuffed toy :) :) And it's sitting on my table right now, sort of encouraging me to finish up my Chem Formal Lab Report with its smile. (Wait, do shrimps even smile? Lol.)

Granted, it is a cheesy one (bought from a famous restaurant chain) but still :)

Now it can join my jellyfish, octopus, mollusk, spider, caterpillar, and two lobsters in my invertebrate collection :)

Cheers :)


I hate writer’s block.

But do you know what I hate more than writer’s block?

I hate knowing exactly what I want to write and not being able to write it because I lack time to commit it to paper, Livejournal, or even a Microsoft Word file.



My teacher likes to make pronouncements that shock the populace (I mean, Intarmed 2013).

After getting our results of the last departmental exam, he then said this: “Lahat ng 85 and above ay may plus 10.” Shocked and some happy gasps were heard. “Pero, lahat ng 60 and below ay may minus 10.” Outraged gasps were then heard. (I’m not sure if this holds for all the tests or if it’s on a test-to-test basis.)

I am not affected by either as of now, but it’s very very disturbing.

Then again, my brother (from Ateneo) tells me that there’s this teacher there who has this grading curve where the people with the lowest grades in a class will automatically fail. The teacher taught this class with Management Eng and Management Honors and the lowest grades there was around 80%. Sure enough, those with 80% failed.

Eep. Hopefully there are no teachers like that here.


I didn’t massacre search for the ganglia and other parts of the nervous system of our frog last Friday (my groupmates did), so Vinni-san can rest easy because I won’t be describing it so intensely. (Joan and I studied slides of the frog and human spinal cord and took pictures of it using Dingdong’s cameraphone.)

“But…” )


[I said three days, and I extend by one. Maybe I was attacked by an eleventh-hour cowardly bug, but better late than never. I'm sorry to be so erm, mad in this entry but this has been a long time coming. And if you don't understand a thing, it's definitely not directed at you :)]

I don't believe in your pretty words, those that fill up my cellphone's inbox and whirl around in my mind.  )

[Note 1: I don’t care anymore. Think of this as my last move in our twisted game. Besides, I think you still won anyway because it’s you after all. Let me go down with readable prose, at least.]

[Note 2: And I think this wins the longest post in my lj award (not counting Contest or memorial posts). Thank you for reading, if you did, even if you skipped parts of it.]

[Note 3: Hey, mutual friend? I'm not mad at you. I won't be mad at you either if you go tell him about this entry either.]

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rewritethepast: (sad)
Today, I got robbed.

You know what I lost? Not my cellphone (which is admittedly old but still is a cameraphone), not my wallet (which is admittedly ugly and old), nor my room keys (eh?).

Let me retell the story so that I will laugh at it when I'm old and my straight hair is pure gray. (Hopefully LJ won't crash or anything by then.)

I was in Robinson's Place Mall, walking towards National Bookstore with Joan's handouts (a Math and a Hum one - the Hum one being a short story) in my hand (since I needed to xerox them), when suddenly this tall dark-skinned guy holding a yellow sotanghon cup (with chocolately substance inside, oddly, not sotanghon), bumps into me hard and walks off at a fast pace. (My hip still hurts from it.) I feel something tugging at the papers (the handouts) held by my thumb at that brief instant, but I don't realize what happened exactly. When I come to, I enter National Bookstore and look for the photocopying machine. I find it, and I notice that the Kom handout is missing and it's only the Math handout in my hand.

Now, I didn't think of the guy automatically. I backtracked all my steps and found no Hum short story. Yes, I even asked Customer Service. Gaaah.

I dazedly go back home and check my things. Yes, the Hum short story is missing. My cellphone is still alive and well. My wallet is still intact with the correct amount of money inside. My keys are still present. My handbag isn't slashed. The Math handout is still alive and well (but unxeroxed).

I'm not sure exactly if it's Sotanghon Cup guy who stole the handout but I guess someone did at that moment. (Because I think I had the handout before I reached that side of the mall.) There's no other reasoning behind it, unless I just imagined the tugging at the papers or the handout vanished into thin air.

And thus is my first erm, experience of being robbed actively (I did get some of my stuff stolen in Pisay, but they were stolen while I wasn't around).

Waaaaaaah. I have a feeling my family will laugh at me this weekend. My sister told me that one is lucky if one survives a year without getting robbed in Manila. And now I have been robbed. Of Joan's short story.

I swear, my life is definitely odd, stupid, laughable if it weren't my life, or an indeterminate combination of the three.

And I needed to read that short story for tomorrow! :( It was the unedited version with the sex scene we must analyze! (I only have the edited copy in my Hum book, the one with the cut sex scene.)

Good evening 2007, this is definitely an odd year.


It's been a week and two days since you first texted. It's been four days since I gave you my final answer.

In three days, I'll make my final move. Don't say I didn't warn you, because it's been a long time coming.

Not that I think you read my blog or anything, but our mutual friend deserves an explanation. And I don't trust anything coming out of your mouth or thought of by your mind.


Warning. Not as gruesomely descriptive as the last entry, but still. Read when not eating? )


Sure enough, there was an earthworm on the rug. )


The memories of all the fires I watched from the Pisay oval last school year came back to me in a flash when there was a fire at the Supreme Court on Monday. I didn't actually see the fire but I did see five fire trucks whiz past the Robinson's Place Mall heading in the Supreme Court's general direction. Apparently its Session Hall was the one with the fire, and faulty wiring might have caused it.

I don't know if this is a freak accident or if it was intentional because apparently some cases which are to be heard by the Supreme Court will be postponed because of said fire. I just know that when I passed the Supreme Court at around 9:40 pm later, the Supreme Court building looked very very wet. >_<


When Cybill, Joan, and I passed our College (College of Medicine Building otherwise known as Calderon Hall), there were a lot of media present - you know, reporters, microphones, cameramen, the works. We three wondered what had happened. We tried to observe for a while, but we saw nothing in particular.

Apparently, this is what happened. )

When I decided to go to school here, I didn't think that there would be so many newsworthy things of this nature... I mean, there are protests here all the time (especially since we're near the Department of Justice, the Court of Appeals, the Supreme Court) and there are always TV crews and all but these are weird things. And I guess these things don't happen in other places.

Hmmm. Going to school here is definitely not boring.


I think I better stop now before my head hurts again. I wanted to write more, but I think I described enough med-related stuff for today.

Last thing: I miss Jman's entries. :(
rewritethepast: (resignation)
Okay, according to my mom who talked to someone in the registrar's office, all the transcripts for the Pisay people in UP Manila were sent out Thursday morning. So it should be received by UP Manila on Monday by the latest :) So probably all the UP campuses who don't have the Pisay people's transcripts should be getting them soon. :)

I don't know why it took so long though. Haven't heard of a reason yet.


What was I doing on the day of September 11, 2001?

I remember going to school. I remember going home. I remember taking off my shoes and socks. I remember using the internet, still dressed in my green skirt and white blouse. I remember being called for dinner.

I remember watching CNN and going to sleep afterwards, trying to block it out of my head.

I remember the next day in class, we listened to the radio during Araling Panlipunan (which is SocSci, I guess). I remember that black radio, broadcasting things that spoke of sadness and destruction and everything else in between. I remember the colors diminishing that day, mixing and mixing and having a sheen of palest gray.

I remember being sad around that time. I didn't really understand all the political arguments that raged on at that time but I felt so sad because of all the lives lost and all the people shouting and everything being so...

I remember feeling numb.

I remember wanting to close my eyes to the world and its cruelties.

I remember being sad because I had seen the World Trade Center the summer before my Grade 6 year and I realized I would never see it again exactly as it once was.

I remember not wanting to go on an airplane for a long while after that.

I'm sorry, I'm blabbing, but I just watched the movie and I feel sad and sadder and it's like I'm that Grade 6 girl over again.


I'm glad to hear you guys did well selling Cello's doughnuts, Josef-san :)

And congratulations to all the University and College Scholars :)


And even though I always complain about the Harry Potter movies and all the things they changed and dropped...

I'm going to go look for that trailer on the net (for OoTP) once it comes out :)

Speaking of movies, I want to watch Happy Feet :) I've seen the movie trailer a lot and I want to know what the movie is all about :) Besides dancing penguins are always good :)


It's hard to be sad when everyone else is sad. I keep trying to think of ways of how to cheer people up, make the load on their backs a little lighter. But all my ideas are gone, blown away in the wind, only fragments of them left fluttering and falling into my hair.

I try to find the right words to say but once I'm there, all my prose disappears.

Please guys, take care, ok?

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you...
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved (you are loved)

You are loved (you are loved)
Don't give up (don't give up)
It's just the weight of the world!! (you are loved)
Don't give up (don't give up)
Everyone needs to be heard (don't give up)
You are loved (you are loved)

- Josh Groban, You Are Loved (Don't Give Up)
rewritethepast: (resignation)
The Pros and Cons of Wearing Something other than Sandals and Sneakers )


There isn't a swear word invented that can fully express my ultimate hate for Math 17. )


Maybe I just don't want them to end up like me. )


I promised I’d post the erm, reason for my leaving early (Homecoming), or actually, what the hell I did instead of watch my classmates and teacher win UNILAB prizes, but Math et al. has eaten my brain again. (Actually it’s been shut down without warning too many times this week; ctrl + alt + del doesn’t work anymore. My brain needs a reformat. Badly.) Maybe next entry. Besides, it deserves an entry of its own.


Lots of us are feeling poorly due to our Math test and the environmental/physical/mental/emotional factors involved in taking it. Get well Joanne, Cybill, Poch (haha, talaga ba may sakit ka?), etc. (Oo nga no, puro pala Block 13 ang natamaan.) Yeesh. We need a break from Math 17. (Actually we need a break from Mr. Math.)

I mean, I’m not the sharpest crayon in the box when it comes to Math but this was a hard test. I swear, guys, the tests here in Manila are harder. This test, I think, is a sure fail for me. As in cinco o quatro fail. And if our Intarmed Math God and Goddess are unsure of their performance in the test (and I’m sure a lot of people know who they are, have known them for a while even), then what more of us mere mortals? (And I don’t think I’m a mortal anymore, I’m just a erm… degenerate species? Hahahahaha.)

Bah. Stupid long questions. And Mr. Math cannot multiply. If he ruled the world, 1 times 1 would be equal to 2. Donk.

I am anticipating the day of evaluation of Mr. Math with sadistic glee. If it happens tomorrow…


Contest, ended :) )


Titilated yet? Yeah right. )


I’m seeing someone I shouldn’t be seeing here. I thought it was a fluke the first time, a coincidence the second, but I was shell-shocked at the third as now I know his supposed course here (since he was with his blockmates and I know that block’s course).

Talk about those coincidences that you wish would never happen to you.

I’m still praying it’s a mistake. Please make it a mistake.

Gaaaaaaaaaah. More stress.


Wake me up
when September ends...

- Wake Me Up When September Ends, Green Day

Then again, if September ends, finals will follow in October. Wala bang pass hanggang November? >_<


And to all you Katipunan people out there, we might just see you really soon :)
rewritethepast: (resignation)
I haven't posted in a week. >_< I've sunk to new lows. Still now, I'm not finished with a lot of things I need to do. Ah well. I've been thinking too much again. I wish that I could turn off my brain sometimes. But with my luck, I'd probably just forget to turn it on again. >_<

Note: Different people were involved in all parts of the story. Well, actually the people in the first two parts are the same, but they are different distinct people compared to those in the third and fourth part.

Intro: This is a true story, yet some details are omitted or made unclear for the safety of certain people, most of all me. :) This story is more understandable if you've actually been reading my lj for at least eight months (basically, while I was in Pisay). (Haha, that's long.) Still, I tried to make it reference-free for those who aren't used to my writing style yet.

And you know, I'm still not done with you, Homecoming. There's still another story to write, which will probably appear after my 3rd Departmental Exam in Math on Thursday. :)

An Alumni Homecoming Story in Four Parts )

Note (added September 12, 2006): Obviously the person referred to in Parts 1 and 2 is not the same as the person referred to in Parts 3 and 4. Or if they are, I think I may have written a mistake in somewhere. *donk* I believe the person's identity in Parts 3 and 4 is obvious due to a number of key statements. However, it's the person's identity in Parts 1 and 2 that's the same as number 51 in my second contest :)


I'm glad I saw Jhud-san and Jar-san at Homecoming :) Although I was shocked by their physical appearance at first. Arvin-san also looks different. Ok, a lot of guys basically got hairier. >_< (As compared to Intarmed males who visit the barber at least once a month?) Still nice to see known people other than those in Intarmed again that are in my age range. :)

I'm glad I got to see a lot of people, although most of them were Lithium. (This was inevitable because apparently they were all attracted - by some sort of chemical/magnetic bond- to the Lithium Intarmed people.) I'm glad I got to see my anime-loving buddies too :)

Hmmm. I got accused of having footbinding done on my feet a lot that night (the lily feet). O.o I know I'm Chinese, but we're not that traditional... And I think my feet are normal sized (if not large)?... 7 and 1/2 to 7 to 6 and 1/2 (for kids)... of course if I chop my toes off like they did in China back then I'd probably lose the 1/2...

Actually, my feet look small compared to my brothers'. One has a 10 shoe size while the other has a 12 shoe size. >_<

I think the shoes I was wearing during homecoming just did a good job of shrinking my feet, that's all. :)


Contest :) Clue added to no. 20 :) )

Right now, Vinni-san's still leading :)


I fell up the stairs last Friday :( (And no, that's not a mistake. I really did fall "up" the stairs as opposed to "down". I fell on a higher step from whence I came. Only happens to me.) I now have a very unattractive bruise on my left leg, and it's all for nothing since we didn't succeed. >_<

Why oh why must we not succeed in walking out of Kom??? (Success Rate: 1 in 3 attempts. And we only got the one because we hid in the secret RH area for around 10 minutes.)


Please get well soon, my almost name-twin... (or is it name almost-twin? >_<)


I finished collecting the Pokemon Advanced Generation Happy Meal Set :) (Note: This is the one created for the release of Movie 8.)

I remember the old days in grade school when I tried to complete old sets... like the 101 Dalmatian set that I did not complete even after it was repeated (because of the live-action film) and the Snoopy set (with 28 different countries) that I did finish... and the old Hot Wheels cars and the little Barbie dolls...

I wonder how many Happy Meals I've bought in this lifetime so far... and how many I'll buy in my lifetime, whether it be for myself or for future spawn (LOL)...
rewritethepast: (hoe)
Take a guava from a guava tree. How? )


Because apparently a lot of us are reading erm, descriptive lit since it's required. >_<

Let's see the sample! )


I loved Tuesday's Math 17 class. :)

Wala kasing prof eh :) :)


I do not like crunches. My abdominal muscles kill me. And I cannot eat afterwards. Or laugh. Or anything.


The Fellowship of the School Supplies, Searching for the Clear Folders )


Everything seems less bad after a dreamless sleep.

Except STR (talks from experience).

And now, my Pisay-Intarmed classmates now torture me with old Research Manuals and stat-tests talk and give me even more nightmares of what was once my Monday-Double-Period-Good-Morning!


LadyMed practice is in full swing. (If you don't know, it's the competition between the College of Medicine batches wherein each batch dresses up a straight guy as a girl.) I am still disturbed by the sight of JF dancing with a guy. Anyway.

I am in the props division, which is headed by Athena. Since it's Athena who's heading it, you know the props are going to kick ass. :)


Ok, I knew this would eventually happen. But I blocked it out of my head hoping that it never would. But it did. )


Ok, I've been talking to the Pisay-Intarmed people who read my lj and some people thought (for a moment) that my lie was true. >_< And that it was believable, if they didn't see me every day in Intarmed.

I'm sorry. I'm happy here. Honest. I'm not regretting not taking up Chem Eng. I'm not regretting anything except the fact that I still miss him.

However, I'm going to set something straight. It's true that the guy I love said those bad things. "He" is not my conscience/inner voice. That's the ugly truth, that the guy I love can say (and did say) such ugly things to anyone.

And maybe that's more despicable than any lie I can make up.


I am not going to give in and say "I'm sorry." I'm not going to let you say "I told you so," because there's still no truth in what you said. I don't believe we have a chance, ever even had one.

But I am going to tell you something, darling, since I still can't say truthfully that I don't love you anymore.

I miss you. Although I know what you're going to tell me when you see me again.

"You regret it, don't you? Intarmed?"

Maybe I do. Maybe I don't. It's not your business to know now, with what you've done to me, my heart, my life.

Regardless, I'm not going to take anything I said above back.
rewritethepast: (hmm)
I thought that I'd escape seeing frat rumbles - or at least see less of them since there's less space there to actually have a frat rumble - since I chose to go to UP Manila.

They don't have rumbles at UP, they have it at Robinsons' Place Ermita. >.< When lots of Pisay people were off shopping for Cris' gift I went off to mail something via LBC and right in the middle of the mall, there was this rumble/chase/etc. happening. It was really disquieting especially since apparently they had come in from the other side of the mall.

Actually, I don't even think they were UP students. Why?

They had the typical high school male uniforms. >_< Maybe it's a frat at their high school...

No, they didn't actually land that much punches on each other. They just ran and ran and pulled clothes and stuff. Then the police came running after them and they ran off into the streets.

If I had gotten there around 2 minutes earlier I would have probably gotten hit by the running men, so I'm glad that I got there late for once. :)

[Edit: No, the guys are probably not from MaSci.]


Tests, tests, and soon to come tests... )


Too bad dropping a subject equals leaving Intarmed. )


I want to go to the Camia outing on Wednesday but I have classes then :(


Apparently I am not as introverted as I perceive myself to be.

However, I'm still more introverted than most everyone in Intarmed. >.<


This is the first time I've been blackmailed in my whole life. At least, as far back as I can remember. )


Again, sorry for the last entry if I offended anyone. Honestly, I believe that my verbosity only gets me into trouble. See first year, where my little piece about love in a dark classroom made me infamous - and known by a lot of people who probably shouldn't have known me for anything other than that.


(Sort of inspired by Kel's posting a word problem)

I was answering a problem in Math 17 in advance (since I was getting bored of how my teacher insists on adding say constant c to both sides when you can just transpose). I don't like Math as a rule (sorry Jman, Pauline, and Vinni =P), but I was amused by this question. I've never seen anything like it before. (Apparently neither has my seatmate fron Xavier, since he watched me solve it with amusement.)

The question plus the supposed solution )


Because I posted the aforementioned essay I wrote in first year, Trebor read it for the first time. Because of this, on Wednesday all the Pisay-Dil Intarmed people (except Joanne) decided to devote minutes to figuring out who he is based on my paltry clues.

Noooo it's doomed to be found out considering their intelligence!!! Especially Ardynne's intelligence!!! Doomed, I tell you, doomed!!!

And Trebor didn't like noticed my skirt that day. Actually he said "mataruch skirt mo!" and "mataray skirt mo!" Wearing boots with it didn't seem to help the image... (Trebor, Joan, etc. = gothy, "I am superior to you, don't dare talk to me.")

I should post pictures of said skirt, but I have no digicam. >_< Maybe when I wear it again in UP Manila... but I need a cameraperson...

[/edit] Trebor is not evil :) :) :) Bagay raw yung skirt ko sa akin :) :)


I don't know how I'm surviving without hearing your name from anyone's lips.

And when you get mentioned, it's all I can do to not badger the person with incessant questions.

Thing is, I just want to hear you speak again, and if I can't have that I want to hear about you.

But I can't ask without being obvious, so I'll just not ask at all and hope that you do something outrageous so that even we Pisay people here in Manila will gossip about it. :)
rewritethepast: (meh)
NatSci = What the heck pyrite pala donk a donk donk plus bakit may police sa labas ng klasrum???????

Galing ni Trebor, sinabi na kailangan ng streak test :)

[Real story will come in a friends-only entry. Di pa ako nakarecover eh.]


Panalo ito.

Math question for Homework:

(2a^2-3b^3)(______________) = (_____________________)

Pilosopo yung katabi ko (si Bean). Sabi niya, "Paano kung 0 ang nilagay namin?"



We watched Kingdom of Heaven last Thursday for Philo (and quit 1/4th through it) and went to the Guidance Office for our required interviews. (Ewan ko nga rin anong relasyon ng movie na yan sa Philo. Umalis na kami nung nagpakita yung love interest ni Orlando Bloom.)

One of my classmates made this survey and passed it around the Intarmed class during the movie.

Taken/Not Taken?

Kind of..., Taken, Not Taken, Looking, Waiting to be Found (meron talagang nagpili nito :)) and something else...

Alam mo naman ako, ayaw ko magsinungaling, so "Kind of" ang pinili ko. Tapos nilagay ko na "nasa Diliman eh..."

Conversation with Friend from Intarmed and Athena during Guidance Waiting Period:
Friend: Kind of ha...
Self: Eh... Di naman naging kami eh... pero di naman ako naghahanap dahil gusto ko nga siya...
Friend: Anong course niya sa Diliman?
Self: *is about to tell him (since he's from Pisay Davao, he doesn't know anyone from our batch) but remembers Athena is there* Kasi malalaman ni Athena eh...

Sayang. Ah well.


Walang pumatol sa sinabi ko nung naunang entry (yung tungkol sa sasabihan ko kung sino siya basta magkwento ka tungkol sa kanya) kaya...

Bahala na kelan may makakalaman kung sino ang minamahal ko. Hahahahahahahaha.


Trebor made me cry last Monday. I was so happy then because we left Histo 5 early for the flag ceremony and he had to mention his name fondly. Panira naman.

Inis. Bakit ba ganyan parin?


I now have food coloring on my hand. It won't come off. Boo.

Dang you NatSci tawas crystal...


And because I'm currently waiting for super tawas crystal to magically appear from my tawas solution... *donk*

Ten to One )

High School ;) )


Haaaaaayyyy. Back to the tawas crystal watching.
rewritethepast: (sad)
You know, I have no idea what the new "Panunumpa sa Watawat" is. Zero. Zilch.

My ignorance of this was highlighted during the College of Medicine Flag Ceremony two days ago. Luckily, there were copies of it given to us. Still...


The Oblation statue here in UP Manila seems to be tilted. I'm wondering if the tilt is intentional or maybe we have our own manifestation of what's happening with the Leaning Tower of Pisa.


We used our knowledge of First Aid from Health to lift people during NSTP! ;)

"Hey, hey, are you ok?"


I have to read this Filipino short story for Kom 1. As of now, I've read it three times and all I understand is that there's a carabao in it. And the carabao's name is Paparo.

Forget my scientific calculator being my best friend, I've just exchanged it for the UP Diksyonaryong Filipino.


I'm starting to understand why Monch copied everything the teacher (and everyone else) said during 1st and 2nd year.

Sometimes copying what my teachers and uber-intelligent classmates say keeps me more focused on the lesson. This applies to everything but Math 17 since everything my teacher says is found in the book.

Not to mention the things that come out of their mouths are hilarious sometimes.


I've found the perfect role model for me here in UP Manila, and he's also in the Intarmed program. He's super-intelligent and well... ok, he's brilliant. Period.

Having Inzo-sama as my role model in Pisay played a big hand in my getting high honors. Let's see if it still works in this whole new environment, this business of having role models.


Apparently there are people who don't like Intarmed Batch 2013 (which is my batch).

Ah well. The fact that they're feeling such an emotion towards us, rather, wasting such an emotion on us when it could be channeled in a more positive manner...

It's their choice. I know it's been my choice to be mad at certain people in my life.

I just don't like it when other people from my batch get hurt.


I was walking down Pedro Gil with Dingdong and Joan when this lady gave me this flyer:

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Oh yes. I really need one of these. I mean, my hair may not be as healthy as I'd wish it to be, but it's definitely 100% straight.



Why do I always get paired with people who are happily taken/aren't looking/have questionable genders?

And no, I don't have a crush on the guys I hang out with a lot.

While there are a lot of brilliant guys (actually, all of them are brilliant in their own infuriatingly brilliant ways) here in UP Manila - Intarmed...

My silly heart can't forget a guy in Diliman.

Chikuso. I know it's wrong, but I still can't stop thinking about him. I can't stop dreaming of him. I can't stop caring about him.


*I'm almost willing to spill the beans about who he is just for information about him nowadays. Maybe if I hear about him again and his many antics that just serve to highlight all his imperfections I'll stop feeling this.

Or maybe I'll be able to force myself to stop, at least.

[Note on *: This only works if I know you actually see him every day or even twice a week.]


And before I forget, happy birthday Pauline-san ;)
rewritethepast: (utterly happy)
What presents do you give a girl?

Imed answer: Flowers, candy, chocolates.

What a certain Pisay guy gave me (for reasons unknown to me): his NSO birth certificate worth 300 pesos at your nearest City Hall (?).

Why do you give a girl presents?

Imed answer: So that she'll forgive you or like you or start falling for you.

Reason certain Pisay guy gave me his birth certificate: "Para kapag manganak ka, pwede mo gayahin lahat ng nasa birth certificate kagaya pangalan, oras at araw ng panganak, etc."

Imed consensus: Weird way of courting. It's like "Bear my child."

Self-commentary: Bah. Weird lang yung tao.

Sorry, it's nearing the day he gave it to me. Just remembered it.


On Monday, we all wore green or white. Ardynne wore something blue-green (pasaway na bata). Actually, we had to be at the inaguration of our new Dean (at the College of Medicine) and we had to clap when the procession with the dean passes by and carry a banner (made by Athena-san). This means of course that we looked silly and weird. But we were all together, so it wasn't so bad. We were very small compared to the other people there, though... (except my 6 foot classmate).


Another reason life is sad:

Today we were choosing the sizes for our PE uniform (white shirt (with logo?) + maroon jogging pants). Shirt was ok. The smallest size was XXL. Hahaha, XXL for kids.

Everyone felt that the size S pants were too short. (Which led to many people getting the M size since they'd rather the pants be loose and not too short.)

When I tried on the S pants...

It was too long.


And sadly, there is no XS.

I think I'm the only one in the block (if not the whole class of Intarmed) with this problem. Waaaaaaaah.


I think life is sad when your very male seatmate in Math 17 combs his hair more than you do, especially if your hair's 10 and one half inches longer than his (give or take an inch).

I ended up combing my hair because of him. Dangit.

To end his continuous combing of his hair (since we had been at it for at least five minutes or so), I stole the comb.

Then he pulled my hair (since he couldn't steal it back).

Waaah. I can't win.


I have met an anime fan :) And he knows a lot of anime too :) We spent part of lunch break talking about so many different anime (from GTO to Saikano to Full Metal Alchemist) :)

NatSci )

Math 17 is providing me with material for another story (aka fiction-ripped-off-my-life fiction).

It's just hard to write it when your seatmate wonders what the heck I'm writing in my Math notebook since everything my teacher says is in the book (I mean, module), verbatim.


I think I've found my own true-to-life Julian Delphiki. His name is perfect too. Not to mention he actually knows who Julian Delphiki is, since he's the only one I know (other than myself) who's read books in the Enderverse.

Now if only a real-life Edward Elric would show up in my life...


At para una sa lahat (well, except JF who sang-said it complete with clapping number), Happy Birthday Joanne :)


"It's a hat, it's a hat, it's a hat!" - The Little Prince, movie version
rewritethepast: (resignation)
Ayoko na.

Tama na.

Alis ka na nga sa buhay ko.


Wala na nga akong pag-asa. Alam ko yan. Lagi mo naman sinabi yan eh. Wala. Wala talaga.

'Wag mo na ako paasahin.

Tinakasan na kita. Di na tayo dapat magkita muli sa buong buhay natin, pwera nalang sa mga Pisay reunion. Di na dapat talaga tayo magkakausap muli.

Bwisit. Ang sama mo talaga sa akin. Di ko talaga alam paano ako nagtagal bilang "kaibigan" mo.

Peke lang naman yung salita na yun sa iyo eh. Katumbas lang nun sa iyo isang taong pwedeng gamitin, isaktan, patayin ng ulit-ulit.


Bakit ba lagi ka nasa pananginip ko kasi? Yun pa. Wala na nga akong takas sa iyo sa totoong buhay pero pati oras ko na magsiayos ng mga namamatay kong parte ng katawan ko sisirain mo. Leche ka talaga. Bakasyon nga, sabi. Di nawawala ang mga "eyebags" ko dahil sa iyo.

Ang pinakamasama pa sa lahat ay masaya ka na ganito ako dahil sa iyo. Grabe naman ako para sa "ego" mo.

Ang lakas ng loob mo. Alam mo naman na inis na inis na ako sa iyo eh.

Alam mo kung ano ang pinakanakakainis sa katotohanan na lagi ka nalang sa pananginip ko?

Pangit ka. Sana naman kung may makita man ako sa tulog ko, sana naman gwapo. Hindi, nakukuha ko ikaw. Ikaw. Di ka naman mananalo ng "beauty contest" eh. Talbog ka na nga sa kagwapuhan, paano ka pa sa talento? Kaya mo lang naman gawin ay magsira ng buhay eh.

Kahit anong mangyari, talo parin kita sa Pisika sa huli. Alam mo, sinabihan mo pa ako noon. Sabi mo ang kulelat ko talaga sa kursong yun. Wala raw akong pag-asa pumasa sa kursong yun. Kainin mo na ang mga salita mo ngayon.

Tapos. Sana naman wala ka na talaga sa buhay ko simula ngayon. Sana naman kapag tulog ko muli, mas gwapo naman ang dadating kasya ikaw muli.
rewritethepast: (resignation)
[Note: When I say I write dark things, I mean it. At least this time I didn't watch Pokemon before this. Oh wait, I did. Bah. Who said Pokemon couldn't inspire dark things?

Oh yeah. This is about 95% true. I lied about the color of her hair.

lj-cut because I didn't want to monopolize your friends page. It takes up 1/2 of mine as it is.]

Too bad I love you. Seventeen guys in our first year class and I chose you. You. )

The lyrics of the song... )


I've been hearing rumors about a certain person and his certain schools.

I hope they are definitely not true, because irony's a bitch if they are.


Yeesh. The Da Vinci Code is making my house a battlefield. My father likes it (and might believe it), my sister thinks it to be so-so, and my brother is too "unbiased" to comment as he reads it. My other brother thinks it's a good one-time read, but he's out of the country taking up a MBA at Berkeley, so he's no help.

I personally liked it as much as I did Holy Blood, Holy Grail, which isn't saying much. It did pass the time back in second year or so, though. I liked Angels and Demons more, actually. And Digital Fortress.

My father is getting hyped. I'm betting that I'll be in the theater May 19, watching the dang thing on the first day.

Jeesh. It's not like they're going to change the ending or anything.


Jhud-san and JMan-san = supermegaintelligentandbrilliantandallthoseotheradjectivesbecausethey'regeniuses. :)


Waaaaaahh kakapanood ko lang nung episode ni Charmander waaaaaah.

Talaga, nakakadepress yun. Waaaaah. Damian's such a bastard. Buti nalang matalino na rin si Charmander sa dulo. Pero kahit na. Waaaaaah.

And why, pray tell, did the dubbers call onigiri (riceballs, I guess) eclairs?????
rewritethepast: (meh)
I'm not sure, but I guess it's not good to marry third cousins, right? >_< Not to mention third cousins four years older than you. :)


I think I just signed away seven years of my life.

Let me accept it now, because I'm still unsure if I did the right thing.


Today we had this get-together for relatives (which is where I met my aforementioned third cousin).

My sister was thought to be 14 years old. She's 22 now.

I don't want to think of what my age would be to them. >_<

And some people think we're twins too. >_< She's four years older than me, man. C'mon. Not to mention I've got straight hair and she has wavy hair. And she's much prettier too. :( I think I'm taller by a little though.

Waaah. I apparently look like someone who hasn't gone through Confirmation yet - so I don't even look 12. Boooo.

Sheesh. How long will it be until I actually look old enough to get in an R-18 movie?

Probably a long time, since I'm still not allowed to enter R-13 movies apparently, thanks to the theater guards.


Will you take me away?



Aha! I have somehow acquired the infamous Pokemon episode which gave lots of Japanese children seizures. >_< Now I'm scared of watching it. Donk.

Oh yeah, the first Japanese theme song of Pokemon may actually be worse than the English one. (Yes, it's possible.)


Ne, just a question for you readers:

Do you really think I'm in love? Rather, do you really think that I love him?

References would be here, here, here, here, and here. Or probably all my entries tagged "love".


Your EQ is

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!
51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.
71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.
91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.
111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.
131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.
150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

I resent the Chinese remark. I understand some Chinese, as long as it's not of the Cantonese variant (Fookien and Mandarin I'm ok with). Although the remark is not applicable to me, I guess. Still.
rewritethepast: (Default)
It's done.

I've graduated.

And I only have this blank piece of paper with a yellow ribbon tied around it to show for it.

Well, and a medal. :) That is virtually indistinguishable from the medals Marlon-san, Isay-san, and Jman-san got.


I wonder when we'll actually get our "real" diplomas. Or if the diplomas we got are legal and valid and can be shown to the college of our choice. Or if we should just write on the blank paper and voila, our diplomas! >_<


It's over.

I still don't feel like it's over.

Maybe because of STR.

Or all the other things I still need to do.

Like writeups.



Mr. General asked my dad where he was from while we were on stage.

My dad said that he was from Jolo, Sulu.

Mr. General said "Sulu? Anong pangalan mo ulit?"

Father told him, and then he told the lady with him that.

Thankfully we left soon. (Thank God for Choops-san being after me.) I was scared about what he might ask next.



Still. It's over.

This is the last time I'll ever get to wear the Pisay uniform as a fourth year student.

I don't know what to feel.


Anyway, congrats Batch '06! :) We've made it :)

I'll miss you all.

But this isn't goodbye, as Isay-san said. It's just goodbye until we meet again.

Guys, this is real. What we had was real.

We're not about to just let it fade away, are we?

Batch '06 = love.
rewritethepast: (meh)
You know something's wrong when you look in the mirror and see nothing but clear gray.

I figure that this starts the end of the wyrd.


So now?

It's not that I'm tired. I'm just tired of perpetually being pissed off because of you.

Yeah, that's right, you.

Wake up, pick up your clothes and open that shower curtain, and maybe you'll look a little better than you normally do.

I wouldn't count on it.

And the cycle goes on and on and maybe someday we'll escape it.

Not if we go to the same college. And this is becoming more true as I type this, because it's the only option you'll ever consider and the one my parents are pushing me toward.


Yesterday a suspicious envelope appeared in the mailbox. It was from the Singapore Embassy.

So I'll be taking a test on March 16 and 17 at the Heritage Hotel.

Wish me luck :)


I cannot believe my dream job (as that Star thing says, not to be confused with DLSU's Star Scholar Program) is a Librarian. Second is a Mathematician. And I have as much chance of taking Actuarial as Chemical Engineering (which is my course in UP).

Gahhh. Considering I failed Trig 'round the Actuarial part in third year, I'm not inclined to believe it.

Also, why is there a high possibility of me being a physicist? Since first year it has been obvious that I am weak in the subject.

Also, what is a Tool and Die Maker? A person who makes the dice placed in board games????

At least I didn't get Dancer anywhere in the list of possible choices. >_<


You know what annoys me about guys (actually, certain guys that I know, you know, etc.)?

They always feel the need to have pissing contests with each other. If they wrong you, they don't say "I'm sorry" - they just turn to each other and say "It's your fault because chechebureche, etc." Pissing contests, wherein they blame each other and don't pay attention to the fact that each have their own glaringly obvious faults.

Why do you need to enlarge the issue? Just say the five letter word and be done with it. They just end up making the issue so much more stupid.

Well, I can't really say that I haven't done the same before.


Let's lock up all them glass balls before they come a rollin'.


I'm recently rediscovering how fun it is to play the guitar.

But the saxophone is still the best.
rewritethepast: (Anna)
Clarification on CAT. )


Yesterday and the day before were hell for my respiratory system.

I don't think I ever want to have another film edited again.

This means that I should seriously learn how to use that film editing program.



Again and again the cycle continues. Let there be nothing more than your face that floats up menacingly in my memories every after that hour.

Let me purge you from my memories then, remove you piece by piece from my mind and throw them in the conveniently placed trash can beside me and let me walk away after, without any more second glances.

Let me stop this bleeding that started then, let me bind up my wounds and let them heal. Let the scars fade then, let me forget why I ever had them.

Let's end this. Because no one still wants to play this game, this farce, except you.

I don't know what other people see in you. I swear, you're worse than so many other people who are nicer yet aren't noticed.

Oh yeah. You've got charisma. And you're the class clown.

So what?

I'm sick of this. I'm sick and sick and sick of this.

That's why I won't think about this anymore.

I don't want to think about it anymore.

So I won't.
rewritethepast: (poor grundo)
[Edited thanks to Marga-san :) Thanks!]

I've talked about my dismal relationship (if you could even call it that) with my STR groupmate with a different zodiac sign than mine (yes, my other groupmate and I have the same zodiac sign) a lot here. I'm surprised that so many people have read about it (some people I didn't even think knew me...). See here, here, here, here, here, here, and here for more excruciating details, passably worded.

But you know what? It's all useless.

Because he doesn't read it. Because he's such a bastard that he's wrapped up in his own goldfish bowl world that he doesn't even notice all the shit he puts me through. Because in his eyes I'm just Lorraine Miss Mary Sunshine, friend of all and person you can make do anything, even if it's basic crock.

Yeah. That's life. It sucks.

[And I can't even throw the links into his face because he's apparently going through some emotional turmoil right now. Damn my conscience for not wanting him to be more depressed than normal.

Even if he deserves it. Even if he deserves to get all that shit he threw at me back double.

This is why I don't like myself.]


Wow. Friday was woah. (Okay, I've lost all my pretty words.)

Okay. So there was that Inter-Scholastic thing, right?

So I met my old classmates from Zobel. People I never expected to see again. People from the past I never wanted to remember.

We talked. (Him and him and him and me and Sam and Ces and Ogot and even Monzon for a brief instant.) Inane stuff, like how's school, who's the teacher with you, what we learned in Math 5, etc.

Well, they got eliminated, so they left early. So we waved goodbye and all that.

You know something?

I thought I hated those people. Hated them point blank and all.

Now I realize it isn't that simple. I had fun. It was bizarre to see them again, in an environment I love and think of as my second home. It was even more bizarre to talk and laugh with them, after the hell I went through in grade school.

I guess I've become a little kinder ever since I came here.

Or maybe the wounds have started to heal, one by one, ever since I came here to Pisay. Ever since my Ruby years, Zobel has gotten further and further away, until it is but a distant memory, a nightmare that was my former life.

I guess this is part of growing up, huh?

Being in the Director's List is like, woah. )

Wala lang. Kwento lang sa sinauna kong buhay.

I had a stalker in grade school. Ces and Sam know who he is, but I guess no one else does. He was my classmate in grade 7, but he started stalking me in grade 6. We had a bizarre relationship, to put it lightly (is it customary to be teased about your stalker? Or to be forced to sit next to him?). Ka-batch ko siya. Ka-club ko siya ng dalawang taon. (Computer Club kaming dalawa. Presidente ako for two years. Oo na, geek kaming dalawa.)

Wala lang. Top 2% rin siya. Tapos pareho pa kurso namin sa Ateneo. ME ata. Talk about bizarre coincidences.

Pero wala siya sa kainan. So baka di siya pupuntang Ateneo. Hahahaha. Nag-alala pa ako.


Oo nga no. May La Salle Star Scholar Orientation sa 14th. We got this key that we're supposed to bring to the orientation. >_< Made in China siya. Wow. It's supposed to unlock our potential. >_< Sana house and lot nalang. :)
rewritethepast: (Default)
Yeah, I changed some things about my livejournal. I realized that my previous title, etc. didn't fit the color scheme and decided to modify them. Everything is based on the fact that I have synesthesia, which I have had for seventeen years and have accepted.

Why Incandescence?

in·can·des·cence n.
1. The emission of visible light by a hot object.
2. The light emitted by an incandescent object.
3. A high degree of emotion, intensity, or brilliance.

(From American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, 2000.)

Considering the things I post here, I feel that it is appropriate.

Let's see how long the layout lasts.


My absence on Friday, not that many noticed... )


Picture taking! )


Weird things happened at Pisay today. (I was there sadly because of STR.) There was this Korean (??) competition being held. While I sat by one of the green tables in the front lobby waiting for my STR groupmate, lots of people kept coming up to me asking where the bathrooms were. When I pointed to the bathrooms, they asked which one was the girls and the boys cr. >_< (They couldn't understand the signs?)

Of course my groupmate gets to school one hour and a half after the time we set, when I had finally fallen asleep on the green tables. Damn.

We saw Melo-san and Lissa-san there. :) They were using the machines that take extract from things. >_< I didn't know peanut extract was pink and bubbly. It's a pretty pink too, the kind I see when my roommate speaks. I sort of wish we had done something like that too instead of our undying solenoid + mosquito parasite project.


Well. I know I said in my last entry that I wouldn't fake it anymore. But I can't do it.

Why? I guess I don't want him to feel sad. I guess in the end I still want his friendship. Yeah, I guess I still do.

This is why I hate myself. I don't want people to be sad; I'd rather I take on all the sadness and let them be happy. Even if they deserve to feel low and useless and like the scum of the earth that they are.

I can't escape it.

I'll be eaten alive in college because of this.


You know something?

I love him.

You know something else?

I don't think I'll ever stop loving him.


Hey. You. Yeah, you.

After all these years at Pisay with you in my life...

I think that nothing is better or worse than waking up every morning and thinking that I love you.

(And if you've seen this line in [profile] textsecret, yeah, I'm the one who submitted it.)

January 2008

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