rewritethepast: (sad)
Today, I got robbed.

You know what I lost? Not my cellphone (which is admittedly old but still is a cameraphone), not my wallet (which is admittedly ugly and old), nor my room keys (eh?).

Let me retell the story so that I will laugh at it when I'm old and my straight hair is pure gray. (Hopefully LJ won't crash or anything by then.)

I was in Robinson's Place Mall, walking towards National Bookstore with Joan's handouts (a Math and a Hum one - the Hum one being a short story) in my hand (since I needed to xerox them), when suddenly this tall dark-skinned guy holding a yellow sotanghon cup (with chocolately substance inside, oddly, not sotanghon), bumps into me hard and walks off at a fast pace. (My hip still hurts from it.) I feel something tugging at the papers (the handouts) held by my thumb at that brief instant, but I don't realize what happened exactly. When I come to, I enter National Bookstore and look for the photocopying machine. I find it, and I notice that the Kom handout is missing and it's only the Math handout in my hand.

Now, I didn't think of the guy automatically. I backtracked all my steps and found no Hum short story. Yes, I even asked Customer Service. Gaaah.

I dazedly go back home and check my things. Yes, the Hum short story is missing. My cellphone is still alive and well. My wallet is still intact with the correct amount of money inside. My keys are still present. My handbag isn't slashed. The Math handout is still alive and well (but unxeroxed).

I'm not sure exactly if it's Sotanghon Cup guy who stole the handout but I guess someone did at that moment. (Because I think I had the handout before I reached that side of the mall.) There's no other reasoning behind it, unless I just imagined the tugging at the papers or the handout vanished into thin air.

And thus is my first erm, experience of being robbed actively (I did get some of my stuff stolen in Pisay, but they were stolen while I wasn't around).

Waaaaaaah. I have a feeling my family will laugh at me this weekend. My sister told me that one is lucky if one survives a year without getting robbed in Manila. And now I have been robbed. Of Joan's short story.

I swear, my life is definitely odd, stupid, laughable if it weren't my life, or an indeterminate combination of the three.

And I needed to read that short story for tomorrow! :( It was the unedited version with the sex scene we must analyze! (I only have the edited copy in my Hum book, the one with the cut sex scene.)

Good evening 2007, this is definitely an odd year.

***

It's been a week and two days since you first texted. It's been four days since I gave you my final answer.

In three days, I'll make my final move. Don't say I didn't warn you, because it's been a long time coming.

Not that I think you read my blog or anything, but our mutual friend deserves an explanation. And I don't trust anything coming out of your mouth or thought of by your mind.

***

Warning. Not as gruesomely descriptive as the last entry, but still. Read when not eating? )

***

Sure enough, there was an earthworm on the rug. )

***

The memories of all the fires I watched from the Pisay oval last school year came back to me in a flash when there was a fire at the Supreme Court on Monday. I didn't actually see the fire but I did see five fire trucks whiz past the Robinson's Place Mall heading in the Supreme Court's general direction. Apparently its Session Hall was the one with the fire, and faulty wiring might have caused it.

I don't know if this is a freak accident or if it was intentional because apparently some cases which are to be heard by the Supreme Court will be postponed because of said fire. I just know that when I passed the Supreme Court at around 9:40 pm later, the Supreme Court building looked very very wet. >_<

***

When Cybill, Joan, and I passed our College (College of Medicine Building otherwise known as Calderon Hall), there were a lot of media present - you know, reporters, microphones, cameramen, the works. We three wondered what had happened. We tried to observe for a while, but we saw nothing in particular.

Apparently, this is what happened. )

When I decided to go to school here, I didn't think that there would be so many newsworthy things of this nature... I mean, there are protests here all the time (especially since we're near the Department of Justice, the Court of Appeals, the Supreme Court) and there are always TV crews and all but these are weird things. And I guess these things don't happen in other places.

Hmmm. Going to school here is definitely not boring.

***

I think I better stop now before my head hurts again. I wanted to write more, but I think I described enough med-related stuff for today.

Last thing: I miss Jman's entries. :(
rewritethepast: (determined)
On Tuesday, I committed school-sanctioned murder.

The murder weapon? Formalin.

My partner-in-crime? Joan.

And death only came to our victim after we forcibly disintegrated its brain and spinal cord (using a probe) and removed most of its skin cells. It tried weakly (unintentionally) to poison us when we cut off its cheeks (where the poison was stored/secreted) but it only got a bit of Joan’s cheek.

I know it’s normal, and it’s for science (and I did learn a lot from the experience), but for some reason I still feel sorry for the frog.

There was so much blood, gushing from the holes we made and falling down on the ground. And even as we skinned it, we saw its heart beat weakly and oh, its body is so cold.

And then it’s the end and we wash up our scalpels and scissors, pouring the diluted formalin in our glass jar and there you go in, frog, and that’s that. No more eleventh hour reprieve, no more last bids for freedom.

And on Tuesday, oh dear Tuesday, it’s your muscles next. (To my knowledge, that is.)

***

Is it sadistic to derive pleasure from causing an animal pain?

Because in some weird bizarre way I enjoyed skinning our frog, enjoyed snipping the fragile threads holding the epithelial skin cells to the muscles, enjoyed seeing its muscles in all their nakedness. (Of course, I did have a cold so I couldn’t smell it – my classmates all complained about the frog’s smell.) And while we relieved our frog of its largest organ, its heart kept beating, reminding us that our specimen was still alive. And I’d feel a pang of guilt for the frog and think and then Ma’am will remind us to continue skinning and I’d pick up the scalpel and scissors again and snip snip snip I go and more of the skin ends up on the board where the frog’s pinned to. (We drove pins through its erm, paws. We all thought of “Crucifixion,” except the hind feet weren’t pinned together but separated.)

I couldn’t really hold the frog while it was alive (alive and not paralyzed), but it seemed normal (and even natural) to hold it once it stopped being able to move.

Its muscles are fascinating. They were slippery and dark red and cold to the touch and when we removed the skin we tried not to cut them (and I think we succeeded, to a point). I kept thinking to myself, I’m holding a naked muscle (not encased by skin) that isn’t cooked in my hand, a muscle still attached to a living organism. It’s fascinating, from its surprisingly tough dark skin (hard to cut even with the sharp pairs of scissors included in our dissecting kits) to its very small thumbs (the indicator of whether a frog is male or female – I think ours was male since its thumbs were a bit swollen, but one of my classmates reckons he got a pregnant frog), to its cheeks which secrete a creamy yellow poison to its weakly beating heart. And we’ve only started observing it externally. Do you know how to remove the skin of a frog stuck to its feet? You pull it off like you would a glove (although it needs more pressure).

There’s a psychological thing here, but I’m missing it by a mile.

I wonder how I’ll feel when it’s cat-dissecting time. Wait, I think the cats will be killed before we dissect them. Maybe when it’s shark-dissecting time.

***

Why is it that nothing goes right?

Or maybe everything’s just wrong.

Same banana.

Or maybe not.

***

I blush when I think of it, although I think I shouldn’t.

But it’s like an entirely new feeling now, blushing like this. It’s not because of embarrassment, nor is it because I feel sick, but…

Maybe, just maybe, I’m feeling something for someone I haven’t known for a long time now.

Or maybe I’m still sick.

***

You know those times when you just want to curl up and sleep but you can’t because propriety demands you stay awake?

Danged propriety.

***

I’m still sick and I know I’m not getting better.

And you know something? It’s all your fault.


***

I honestly think life should have save points. You know, those areas in role-playing video games where one can save before embarking on a new adventure or continuing one. Imagine saving before tests, before confessing, before mouthing off to a teacher… Then you can reset to the last saved part of your life if you don’t like the results.

Then again, I’d probably end up saving every three minutes or so. So I’ll just hover around the save areas for the rest of my life. Donk.

***

I have a new friend. She’s (I think she’s female) terribly light and rather brittle, and she can accompany me to school in my backpack. I’m terribly interested in her (at least I need to be interested) and I know I’ll learn a lot from her.

And she only cost 60 pesos (thank you UP Manila for the price cut)! Hee, it’s weird having a frog skeleton on your bed.

***

Many people tell me to not listen to her, but it's like a knife in one's heart when she reminds you that you're not like other people, that you're not biologically perfect like them.

I shouldn't listen.

But I'm required to.

***

The Math Long Test I had earlier killed me.

But at least there were no swimming cockroaches (although when we left the campus Joan and Joanne encountered a lot of them on the street) nor rain (it rained the day before) nor denial of the right to use calculators.

Or something like that.

And now it's time to study for my two departmental exams tomorrow. Donk.

***

Belated happy birthday Nya :)

***

It’s you I still dream about.

And it’s you that keeps me wanting not to wake up anymore.
rewritethepast: (sad)
"You're sick," he says plainly and it's funny how the words my mother told me yesterday have such a different meaning when its his voice proclaiming them here where both of us are alone, no one else the wiser that we are meeting here. It's an echo, maybe, it's echoing in my mind and soothing the pain deep inside a little. Maybe I'm the only one who hears differently, my brain functioning hazily because of the growing pain I feel and the emotions that flutter around me - reminding him of what he is, what he was and still is to me.

I look at him disbelievingly, yet my cold hand grazes my forehead in a futile attempt to quiet the pounding deep inside it. "But I need to go to school later! I have to go to Ward 1 and IPC later to submit my genograph/gram!"

He looks at me imperiously, those brown eyes of his flickering to the hand on my forehead. "Forget it. You're sick, Lorraine. Go to bed already."

And I keep my hand pressed to my forehead, trying to ignore the overwhelming weakness in my muscles and the pain in my chest, my head, my stomach, my arms, my heart.

***

What a perfect New Year. I am downed by my old nemesis which killed me around mid-January, making me attend only Physics on a Monday (I think). Perfect. Just a little early. Complete with all the hazy hallucinations and waking dreams.

Oh fudgemuffins, make the pain stop. It hurts too much; I can't even walk anymore. Even typing this is a pain.

My mom says this is probably the flu. Fudgemuffins.

Good day, and I hope your new year is much better than mine.
rewritethepast: (resignation)
I haven't posted in a week. >_< I've sunk to new lows. Still now, I'm not finished with a lot of things I need to do. Ah well. I've been thinking too much again. I wish that I could turn off my brain sometimes. But with my luck, I'd probably just forget to turn it on again. >_<

Note: Different people were involved in all parts of the story. Well, actually the people in the first two parts are the same, but they are different distinct people compared to those in the third and fourth part.

Intro: This is a true story, yet some details are omitted or made unclear for the safety of certain people, most of all me. :) This story is more understandable if you've actually been reading my lj for at least eight months (basically, while I was in Pisay). (Haha, that's long.) Still, I tried to make it reference-free for those who aren't used to my writing style yet.

And you know, I'm still not done with you, Homecoming. There's still another story to write, which will probably appear after my 3rd Departmental Exam in Math on Thursday. :)

An Alumni Homecoming Story in Four Parts )

Note (added September 12, 2006): Obviously the person referred to in Parts 1 and 2 is not the same as the person referred to in Parts 3 and 4. Or if they are, I think I may have written a mistake in somewhere. *donk* I believe the person's identity in Parts 3 and 4 is obvious due to a number of key statements. However, it's the person's identity in Parts 1 and 2 that's the same as number 51 in my second contest :)

***

I'm glad I saw Jhud-san and Jar-san at Homecoming :) Although I was shocked by their physical appearance at first. Arvin-san also looks different. Ok, a lot of guys basically got hairier. >_< (As compared to Intarmed males who visit the barber at least once a month?) Still nice to see known people other than those in Intarmed again that are in my age range. :)

I'm glad I got to see a lot of people, although most of them were Lithium. (This was inevitable because apparently they were all attracted - by some sort of chemical/magnetic bond- to the Lithium Intarmed people.) I'm glad I got to see my anime-loving buddies too :)

Hmmm. I got accused of having footbinding done on my feet a lot that night (the lily feet). O.o I know I'm Chinese, but we're not that traditional... And I think my feet are normal sized (if not large)?... 7 and 1/2 to 7 to 6 and 1/2 (for kids)... of course if I chop my toes off like they did in China back then I'd probably lose the 1/2...

Actually, my feet look small compared to my brothers'. One has a 10 shoe size while the other has a 12 shoe size. >_<

I think the shoes I was wearing during homecoming just did a good job of shrinking my feet, that's all. :)

***

Contest :) Clue added to no. 20 :) )

Right now, Vinni-san's still leading :)

***

I fell up the stairs last Friday :( (And no, that's not a mistake. I really did fall "up" the stairs as opposed to "down". I fell on a higher step from whence I came. Only happens to me.) I now have a very unattractive bruise on my left leg, and it's all for nothing since we didn't succeed. >_<

Why oh why must we not succeed in walking out of Kom??? (Success Rate: 1 in 3 attempts. And we only got the one because we hid in the secret RH area for around 10 minutes.)

***

Please get well soon, my almost name-twin... (or is it name almost-twin? >_<)

***

I finished collecting the Pokemon Advanced Generation Happy Meal Set :) (Note: This is the one created for the release of Movie 8.)

I remember the old days in grade school when I tried to complete old sets... like the 101 Dalmatian set that I did not complete even after it was repeated (because of the live-action film) and the Snoopy set (with 28 different countries) that I did finish... and the old Hot Wheels cars and the little Barbie dolls...

I wonder how many Happy Meals I've bought in this lifetime so far... and how many I'll buy in my lifetime, whether it be for myself or for future spawn (LOL)...
rewritethepast: (determined)
In NSTP yesterday we were taught many things about infectious diseases.

Signs of a bird with avian flu:
Crown is purple.
Weak in general.
Nasal and beak discharge.
etc.

Also, a confirmation of leptospirosis. (Which is the disease you get from exposure to rat urine, which can be fatal if not treated.)

Also, we debunked the idea that looking into the eyes of a person with sore eyes will be equal to getting sore eyes.

We learned about the Father of Handwashing and the ancestor of Alcogel, chlorinated lime solution!

But best of all, we learned how to wash our hands properly! :) There are six simple steps to washing one's hand properly.

The six steps! )

These steps are important since we apparently miss a lot of areas using our normal ways of washing hands.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Very scary. Yet at least we have found out.

Also, we were given freebies :) Some of us won special purple hand sanitizer (Ahem, Joan Joanne.). Everyone got a free bar of antibacterial soap. :) And we all got this nifty pin :)

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

***

Busted! )

***

It's been two weeks or so since I first got it, and now I don't know how I lived without it for so long. :)

I love white yellow pad!!! :) (aka Business Pad) Now I can use correction tape on yellow pad without being very very obvious :) :) As I loved yellow pad before (and wrote the infamous stories on it) now I will love and love and love my white yellow pad (and probably write more infamous stuff on it) :) :)

I should stock up on it now :) Sa Katipunan palang ako nakakita eh. :(

***

The dangers of having synesthesia, PE style. Also, the colors I see when I hear the song 'Sex Bomb'. Haha. )

***

Whatever the hell that thing was at the bottom of my last entry. )

***

Okay, Math question. (Since we just had our departmental exam on Tuesday.)

For any real number, k, w, x, and y, the statement w varies jointly as x and y means w = kxy. True or false?

***

Speaking of which, I wonder if we'll ever have a departmental exam in Math that starts on time. Twice, there has been delays. (We start at past 6:00 -at least- when we should have started at 5:30 pm.) The first was because of possible brownouts, seating arrangements, etc. while the second was due to room problems. We were told to go to our normal room, then we were told to move to this other room. We wait a long time for our teacher to appear. Then we were made to go away by the Behavioral Science teacher since it was their room, after all. Then we go to our original room, which is locked. >_< Then we go to the next room which is small, cramped, and has no aircon. So there is a shortage of armchairs, so people have to get them also.

Of course our teacher lamented the uselessness of his prepared seat plan instead of soothing our ruffled/smashed emotions. Interestingly enough, he still hasn't gotten the memo that David is in New Zealand and isn't going to claim his slot in Intarmed anytime soon. (Even though David-san has not attended any Math class ever.) >_< Donk.

It's unfair. The other classes were allowed to use calculators. We were the only ones not allowed to use them. Stupid biased piyok man teacher. (What a description.) I know we may be erm, considered highly intelligent, but it's unfair to deny us something granted to all the other Math 17 classes in UP Manila! *is bitter*

***

Philo class musings... )

***

Belated Happy Birthday Clar-san!!! :)

***

Hey, is everyone going to the Alumni Homecoming on September 2? I want to go! :) I hope I can go. O.o

Maybe I should start another contest (and give the prize out then, if the winner isn't out of the country - of course if you're from Intarmed, I can give it directly. If you're neither, I'll figure out a way. Haha.). LBC hates me. (Sorry Josef-san!!! I'll try again this weekend!) Would anyone join, though? Haha.

***

Obviously I am procrastinating from finishing homework for my very unit-heavy yet brain-numbing-in-more-ways-than-one subject.

I have a new theory about why Mr. Teacher's always late and sweaty, though.

***

If I ever say goodbye, let's hope I'm strong enough to not falter and run back and say 'Hello again.'
rewritethepast: (hoe)
Take a guava from a guava tree. How? )

***

Because apparently a lot of us are reading erm, descriptive lit since it's required. >_<

Let's see the sample! )

***

I loved Tuesday's Math 17 class. :)

Wala kasing prof eh :) :)

***

I do not like crunches. My abdominal muscles kill me. And I cannot eat afterwards. Or laugh. Or anything.

***

The Fellowship of the School Supplies, Searching for the Clear Folders )

***

Everything seems less bad after a dreamless sleep.

Except STR (talks from experience).

And now, my Pisay-Intarmed classmates now torture me with old Research Manuals and stat-tests talk and give me even more nightmares of what was once my Monday-Double-Period-Good-Morning!

***

LadyMed practice is in full swing. (If you don't know, it's the competition between the College of Medicine batches wherein each batch dresses up a straight guy as a girl.) I am still disturbed by the sight of JF dancing with a guy. Anyway.

I am in the props division, which is headed by Athena. Since it's Athena who's heading it, you know the props are going to kick ass. :)

***

Ok, I knew this would eventually happen. But I blocked it out of my head hoping that it never would. But it did. )

***

Ok, I've been talking to the Pisay-Intarmed people who read my lj and some people thought (for a moment) that my lie was true. >_< And that it was believable, if they didn't see me every day in Intarmed.

I'm sorry. I'm happy here. Honest. I'm not regretting not taking up Chem Eng. I'm not regretting anything except the fact that I still miss him.

However, I'm going to set something straight. It's true that the guy I love said those bad things. "He" is not my conscience/inner voice. That's the ugly truth, that the guy I love can say (and did say) such ugly things to anyone.

And maybe that's more despicable than any lie I can make up.

***

I am not going to give in and say "I'm sorry." I'm not going to let you say "I told you so," because there's still no truth in what you said. I don't believe we have a chance, ever even had one.

But I am going to tell you something, darling, since I still can't say truthfully that I don't love you anymore.

I miss you. Although I know what you're going to tell me when you see me again.

"You regret it, don't you? Intarmed?"

Maybe I do. Maybe I don't. It's not your business to know now, with what you've done to me, my heart, my life.

Regardless, I'm not going to take anything I said above back.
rewritethepast: (sad)
You know, I have no idea what the new "Panunumpa sa Watawat" is. Zero. Zilch.

My ignorance of this was highlighted during the College of Medicine Flag Ceremony two days ago. Luckily, there were copies of it given to us. Still...

***

The Oblation statue here in UP Manila seems to be tilted. I'm wondering if the tilt is intentional or maybe we have our own manifestation of what's happening with the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

***

We used our knowledge of First Aid from Health to lift people during NSTP! ;)

"Hey, hey, are you ok?"

***

I have to read this Filipino short story for Kom 1. As of now, I've read it three times and all I understand is that there's a carabao in it. And the carabao's name is Paparo.

Forget my scientific calculator being my best friend, I've just exchanged it for the UP Diksyonaryong Filipino.

***

I'm starting to understand why Monch copied everything the teacher (and everyone else) said during 1st and 2nd year.

Sometimes copying what my teachers and uber-intelligent classmates say keeps me more focused on the lesson. This applies to everything but Math 17 since everything my teacher says is found in the book.

Not to mention the things that come out of their mouths are hilarious sometimes.

***

I've found the perfect role model for me here in UP Manila, and he's also in the Intarmed program. He's super-intelligent and well... ok, he's brilliant. Period.

Having Inzo-sama as my role model in Pisay played a big hand in my getting high honors. Let's see if it still works in this whole new environment, this business of having role models.

***

Apparently there are people who don't like Intarmed Batch 2013 (which is my batch).

Ah well. The fact that they're feeling such an emotion towards us, rather, wasting such an emotion on us when it could be channeled in a more positive manner...

It's their choice. I know it's been my choice to be mad at certain people in my life.

I just don't like it when other people from my batch get hurt.

***

I was walking down Pedro Gil with Dingdong and Joan when this lady gave me this flyer:

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Oh yes. I really need one of these. I mean, my hair may not be as healthy as I'd wish it to be, but it's definitely 100% straight.

*tonk*

***

Why do I always get paired with people who are happily taken/aren't looking/have questionable genders?

And no, I don't have a crush on the guys I hang out with a lot.

While there are a lot of brilliant guys (actually, all of them are brilliant in their own infuriatingly brilliant ways) here in UP Manila - Intarmed...

My silly heart can't forget a guy in Diliman.

Chikuso. I know it's wrong, but I still can't stop thinking about him. I can't stop dreaming of him. I can't stop caring about him.

I...

*I'm almost willing to spill the beans about who he is just for information about him nowadays. Maybe if I hear about him again and his many antics that just serve to highlight all his imperfections I'll stop feeling this.

Or maybe I'll be able to force myself to stop, at least.

[Note on *: This only works if I know you actually see him every day or even twice a week.]

***

And before I forget, happy birthday Pauline-san ;)
rewritethepast: (utterly happy)
What presents do you give a girl?

Imed answer: Flowers, candy, chocolates.

What a certain Pisay guy gave me (for reasons unknown to me): his NSO birth certificate worth 300 pesos at your nearest City Hall (?).

Why do you give a girl presents?

Imed answer: So that she'll forgive you or like you or start falling for you.

Reason certain Pisay guy gave me his birth certificate: "Para kapag manganak ka, pwede mo gayahin lahat ng nasa birth certificate kagaya pangalan, oras at araw ng panganak, etc."

Imed consensus: Weird way of courting. It's like "Bear my child."

Self-commentary: Bah. Weird lang yung tao.

Sorry, it's nearing the day he gave it to me. Just remembered it.

***

On Monday, we all wore green or white. Ardynne wore something blue-green (pasaway na bata). Actually, we had to be at the inaguration of our new Dean (at the College of Medicine) and we had to clap when the procession with the dean passes by and carry a banner (made by Athena-san). This means of course that we looked silly and weird. But we were all together, so it wasn't so bad. We were very small compared to the other people there, though... (except my 6 foot classmate).

***

Another reason life is sad:

Today we were choosing the sizes for our PE uniform (white shirt (with logo?) + maroon jogging pants). Shirt was ok. The smallest size was XXL. Hahaha, XXL for kids.

Everyone felt that the size S pants were too short. (Which led to many people getting the M size since they'd rather the pants be loose and not too short.)

When I tried on the S pants...

It was too long.

Waaaaaaaah.

And sadly, there is no XS.

I think I'm the only one in the block (if not the whole class of Intarmed) with this problem. Waaaaaaaah.

***

I think life is sad when your very male seatmate in Math 17 combs his hair more than you do, especially if your hair's 10 and one half inches longer than his (give or take an inch).

I ended up combing my hair because of him. Dangit.

To end his continuous combing of his hair (since we had been at it for at least five minutes or so), I stole the comb.

Then he pulled my hair (since he couldn't steal it back).

Waaah. I can't win.

***

I have met an anime fan :) And he knows a lot of anime too :) We spent part of lunch break talking about so many different anime (from GTO to Saikano to Full Metal Alchemist) :)

***
NatSci )
***

Math 17 is providing me with material for another story (aka fiction-ripped-off-my-life fiction).

It's just hard to write it when your seatmate wonders what the heck I'm writing in my Math notebook since everything my teacher says is in the book (I mean, module), verbatim.

***

I think I've found my own true-to-life Julian Delphiki. His name is perfect too. Not to mention he actually knows who Julian Delphiki is, since he's the only one I know (other than myself) who's read books in the Enderverse.

Now if only a real-life Edward Elric would show up in my life...

***

At para una sa lahat (well, except JF who sang-said it complete with clapping number), Happy Birthday Joanne :)

***

"It's a hat, it's a hat, it's a hat!" - The Little Prince, movie version
rewritethepast: (determined)
Wow, it's around four and a half hours before I leave for NAIA. I really still can't wrap my head round the fact that I'll be leaving again (and hopefully coming back in time for my June 6 orientation). It's crazy.

I'll be in San Francisco for a week visiting my brother who's just finished his first year of MBA studies in Berkeley. (And yes, this is the brother who was in the Top 10 of the Pisay entrance exam, Top 5 when he graduated from high school, and the brother who graduated cum laude in ECE.) Sheesh. I don't know why, but I don't care whatever they do to me in the hospital as long as I get to see him again. I really miss him a lot. *sigh*

Then off to Boston tra-la-la and check-ups galore await me there. *sigh* Yay to getting prodded and pricked with needles and getting exposed to x-ray waves again and again. Ah well.

Take care, guys. :) I might be able to post in the USA when I visit my brother's home (and experience true broadband internet haha XD). I'll be back and hopefully the saga of Da Vinci will die down. (Asa XD) Ah well, see you guys soon :)

***

I love Pokemon Chronicles. Not only does it focus on the little details of Pokemon (especially the Carbos and Protein boosters, Pokeruz virus, what Ash's and Gary's Pokemon do at Professor Oak's lab, even how gym badges are created), it has this one characteristic that cannot be overlooked: NO ASH and PIKACHU!!!!! (Well, they appear in one out of 22 episodes. Can't be helped. But still. XD)

And Professor Oak doesn't just do research on Pokemon and human relationships, he also writes love poems. ;) "Strength and power like a Tauros," he starts. Eeek. Remind me never to let a Pokemon researcher write a love poem for me. Haha. :)

And yeah, Gary is even cooler than before. :) Imagine, he helped develop the fossil revival machine that resurrects ancient Pokemon (like Omanyte and Aerodactyl). :) He pwns Ash now in so many more ways than before :)

And so many legendary pokemon appear in it too! :) And again, no Ash "The Chosen One" around hahaha :)

Did I mention that Brock's mother is alive? She converted Pewter Gym into a Water Gym too >_< And of course they battle :)

This has got to be the best season of Pokemon ever. :) Except I've still got a soft spot for Indigo League, even if it had the most banned/edited episodes ever (Beauty and the Beach, Tower of Terror, Legend of Dratini, and Electric Soldier Pokemon).

Ah well. Time to finish packing.
rewritethepast: (meh)
Okay, sit in the dentist's chair. Dentist puts bib-thing on you and leans the chair back. Then he/she pulls that light nearer and picks up those instruments of hers.

"Open your mouth." Okay, can do that. So I do.

Then the instruments go in. Oral propylaxis and all that, then suddenly:

"Oh Lorraine! How are you?"

Of course the dentist waits until her dang implements (and probably part of her hand) are in my mouth before she asks the questions. So of course I go "Nyu nyu nyu nyuuuuuu".

And then the dentist goes "College ka na!"

Okay. Nod.

Then she goes "Bakit intarmed?" I have no idea how she found this out but you know...

"Nyuuuuuuu nyuu nyuuuuu -" Wow. Parang Pokemon. Yun nalang masabi. I am now a Pokemon named Nyu. >_<

Interestingly enough, the dentist seems to understand whatever I say as Nyu-Pokemon. (Or maybe my dentist is special. >_< Or maybe it's a subject in Dentistry: how to understand your patient's sounds when you have dang implements in their mouths!)

Et Absurdia. Yay, now I don't have to wait in line on May 9!

***

Hmmm. Nanood ako ng raw ng Yu-Gi-Oh for QC reasons. Raw as in walang subtitles, Jap voice lang tsaka vid output.

At naintindahan ko!!!!!!! Lahat!!!!! Noooooooo! (Note that I have not watched any Yu-Gi-Oh anime, nor have I read the manga. And no, I don't play the card game either.) Yung mga Swords of Revealing Light pati yung sinasabi ni Yami Yuugi (or as he's known in the original, mou hitori no Yuugi "the other Yugi"). Nooooo. Pati yung sinasabi ni Seto Kaiba!!!! At alam ko na tuloy yung Blue-Eyes White Dragon!!!! Nooooooo! Tama pa yung pagkaintindi ko dahil naghanap ako ng summary ng episode na yun!!! Waaaaaahhhhh! (Hmmm. Marunong na rin tuloy ako maglaro ng Yu-Gi-Oh. Not sure if this is good or bad.)

Pati rin Pokemon. Pero di mahirap ang Pokemon. Basta alam mo na "Pikachu, juuman boruto" means "Pikachu, use your Thunderbolt attack!" ;)
rewritethepast: (meh)
I'm not sure, but I guess it's not good to marry third cousins, right? >_< Not to mention third cousins four years older than you. :)

***

I think I just signed away seven years of my life.

Let me accept it now, because I'm still unsure if I did the right thing.

***

Today we had this get-together for relatives (which is where I met my aforementioned third cousin).

My sister was thought to be 14 years old. She's 22 now.

I don't want to think of what my age would be to them. >_<

And some people think we're twins too. >_< She's four years older than me, man. C'mon. Not to mention I've got straight hair and she has wavy hair. And she's much prettier too. :( I think I'm taller by a little though.

Waaah. I apparently look like someone who hasn't gone through Confirmation yet - so I don't even look 12. Boooo.

Sheesh. How long will it be until I actually look old enough to get in an R-18 movie?

Probably a long time, since I'm still not allowed to enter R-13 movies apparently, thanks to the theater guards.

***

Will you take me away?

Yes.

***

Aha! I have somehow acquired the infamous Pokemon episode which gave lots of Japanese children seizures. >_< Now I'm scared of watching it. Donk.

Oh yeah, the first Japanese theme song of Pokemon may actually be worse than the English one. (Yes, it's possible.)

***

Ne, just a question for you readers:

Do you really think I'm in love? Rather, do you really think that I love him?

References would be here, here, here, here, and here. Or probably all my entries tagged "love".

***

Your EQ is
180

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!
51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.
71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.
91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.
111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.
131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.
150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.



I resent the Chinese remark. I understand some Chinese, as long as it's not of the Cantonese variant (Fookien and Mandarin I'm ok with). Although the remark is not applicable to me, I guess. Still.
rewritethepast: (Anna)
Clarification on CAT. )

***

Yesterday and the day before were hell for my respiratory system.

I don't think I ever want to have another film edited again.

This means that I should seriously learn how to use that film editing program.

Gah.

***

Again and again the cycle continues. Let there be nothing more than your face that floats up menacingly in my memories every after that hour.

Let me purge you from my memories then, remove you piece by piece from my mind and throw them in the conveniently placed trash can beside me and let me walk away after, without any more second glances.

Let me stop this bleeding that started then, let me bind up my wounds and let them heal. Let the scars fade then, let me forget why I ever had them.

Let's end this. Because no one still wants to play this game, this farce, except you.

I don't know what other people see in you. I swear, you're worse than so many other people who are nicer yet aren't noticed.

Oh yeah. You've got charisma. And you're the class clown.

So what?

I'm sick of this. I'm sick and sick and sick of this.

That's why I won't think about this anymore.

I don't want to think about it anymore.

So I won't.
rewritethepast: (poor grundo)
If I had gotten to use the internet earlier, you would have seen an entry that bitched about my English groupmates. Really, it would have started out as "This entry is dedicated to the fact that Don Lima, Neil Ortega, etc. suck to the highest power, etc. ad nauseum."

Dang that wi-fi crashing and dying this week.

Now, I've cooled off. And I guess some of them have apologized. Some just don't give a damn.

I think I really shouldn't care anymore.

***

Yeah, I didn't go to school Friday afternoon. Sorry. How was CAT?

I went to the hospital. Had an x-ray. Got diagnosed for what was causing me to limp terribly these last two days.

Diagnosis:
"Muscle near hip is tired. Patient needs bed rest. Also needs to use walking aid for a while. Take muscle relaxant once a day and whenever necessary."

I'll only get rest when STR and all its insaitable requirements are over and done with.

And that'll be after graduation, I suppose.

***

I now have some medicine (real, working for 3 hours +) for my synesthesia! :) Let's hope it lasts long enough for me to handle YMSAT week.

***

It's interesting how synesthesia (or at least my variant of it) keeps a person from being bored during batch picture taking. There was this Gluon boy behind me that gave off red dots. Yeah, dots, not waves, like usual. (I haven't seen it in many people.) Everytime he talked, red splotches of color would appear before me, even when I tried to avoid them by closing my eyes. (Yes, I know it's futile.) It was disturbing because it was the exact color of blood when it's freshly spilled.

***

I think I just failed Chem. Again.

Gah. I really like Chem (and its logic), but the qualitative part kills me a little. It's because everyone is talking while we do the experiments, the colors I see in the test tube get distorted. Sort of like Physics with the transistor thing because everyone was talking very loudly and I had to ask my partner for the colors. (Thank goodness it was Wilson-san.)

Let's hope that my medicine can last two hours on Feb 21 (when we take our practical test).

***

I got into UST! :)

***

The third year kids are weird. I heard an 07 guy say distinctly to another 07 guy "Bakit ba ang mga girls short?" Eek. Brushing the super-mega-scary Taglish aside, the kid who asked wasn't really tall or anything either. I think he was one inch taller than me (which means he's 5'0).

***

Someone told me "I wish I had your life" Wednesday.

Yeah, you want my life. So what if I'm top 2% in Ateneo, a candidate for Star Scholar, Top 6 in Mapua, 1.25 in Ma'am Oblepias' English class, have a "kickass" STR proposal and groupmates, have money (supposedly), etc. You don't really want what I am. You just say that because you don't know me at all, or at least one tiny teeny bit.

You don't know what it's like to feel that your hip joint is popping out (and in) with every movement you make (and to be told it's true by all the surgeons you talk to). You don't know what it's like if your muscles are cut during surgery (well, I guess Elmar-san and a few others know). You don't know anything of what I experience every day, just waking up. You think I look like hell all the time because I don't sleep? Think again.

And that's only the physical sense. My mind and my familial situation's fucked up to hell.

No, you don't want my life. I'm the only one who has to experience this life. Be thankful for that.
rewritethepast: (neopet petpet)
I hate being in love. It's painful and I feel like the stupidest person on the planet.

But I love being in love. Because I feel that I want to help that person become what he wants to be, and my position in life helps me do it. I feel alive with every time I see him in the corridor, every time I wear the lab gown he broke in, every time I hear something about him.

I can't understand myself anymore. But being in love taught me how to care, and to look at people from different perspectives. It showed me I could write, and it's taking away the pain from the past, my immutable past, and makes me feel like I can be innocent again, a Lorraine who still believes in dreams and in life and in all those pretty epithets.

I thank you then, my four year love. You made me look into myself and you chased away the demons of the past, letting me be happy in my hopeless love. You made me feel something after years of being numb from countless abuses and familial disinheritance.

You made me human again.

***

I love him. Don't try to tell me otherwise because I know it's love.

I've seen him at his worst, his best, and his mostly in betweeness. I've seen him dance (he has weird movements), sing (he's sometimes off-key), and play the recorder (sometimes squeaky sound comes out). I've seen his handwriting, his essays, even his pencilcase (when he had one).

He's told me I suck at Math, Physics, Bio, and most of all Filipino. He's not handsome (he has a funny face), he's younger than me, and he's not smarter than Neil-san, Jman-san, or Isay-san. I don't think he even has a plant yet for CAT.

But he's shown me two faces now, and I never want to see him sad again. Everytime I see him sad I feel broken, the inner shell of myself breaking into a billion pieces, yet I pick it up because I know I can't just watch him be sad anymore, I need to do something about it.

I just want to see him happy now, and even if it won't be enough it will have to be. Because I know he'll be confused if I tell him of my feelings, and he'll never look at me as his friend again. And friendship is better than losing him forever.

I want to protect his disappearing smile.

I love him. That's all there is to it.

***

Talk about mushfest. I feel like getting some of my other works published now. Not. I might get accused of having a crush on GJ again.

Gah. I can't believe that some of my classmates' first words to me in second year was "Crush mo si GJ diba? Dahil sa sinulat mo last year?"

Shoot. No. Argh.

***

So Kiel-san talked to me today.

Kiel-san: O, anong nangyari sa iyo?
Me (confused): Wala naman. Bakit?
Kiel-san: You're limping. Which is a bad sign.
Me (finally understanding): Ah, may hip problem talaga ako.

I think I need to see my doctor again. I think my limp's getting worse.

***

I'm allergic to dust, styrofoam, crayons, and naphtalene. Not to mention aspirin, anti-malarial drugs and a host of other drugs.

What the heck. I'll be dead before 30 because of all these allergies.
rewritethepast: (neopet petpet)
I guess the first thing I write here is that I got poisoned by naphtalene. Barfed eleven times because I smelled it.

Yay. More stuff for my allergies list. Never again. Almost missed Physics + Econ perio because of it. Even Ma'am Yazon was worried about me for a while. She said that I wasn't smiling much.

Haha. I guess it's good that the director is worried about me. Yay.

*******

My roommate and I got driven crazy last weekend (yes, the weekend when we were supposed to be studying for perio) trying to remember how "Papercut" by Linkin Park was sung. Hahaha. Then we asked people and they didn't know either. Hahaha. I asked Don-kun when we did STR Sunday but I didn't hear him that well since the spectrophotometer hated us for a while. Wednesday I found my old album and played it until my cd player died.

Shoot. I don't want to remember the times I went through when I listened to that.

*******

Someone told me Friday to go to Seniors' Night. Then he didn't come. Damn.

His loss. I think. I think he ended up playing DOTA though. Drat.

*******

I learned a lot of things during Seniors' Night.

I learned that a lot of people want their handwriting analyzed.

I learned that Sir Vlad is insane. ^_^

I learned that I know what Julia-san's smile looks like. (Too bad I couldn't join the contest. Can't indian-sit.)

I learned that my family situation sucks compared to other people.

Ah well.
More on the night I slept in Gluon zone )

***

So he said hi. And I said hi.

Is this the start of a beautiful friendship? More like he probably wondered why my face turned deathly pale when I saw him.

Damn my naphtalene allergies. And damn his smelling like it right when I saw him.

Shoot, I wonder what he thought of that.

I can't believe he didn't know I was a dormer. Shoot.

***

For some reason, this amuses me.

Guess that Friend

***
I made a color bar!! I suck at photoshop, but I was able to make one! ^_^


Ruby Camia Potassium Graviton Pisay sections is love.


Now if I could only make one for each section... ^_^;

***

Intrams this week. I think I'll just hide under the pillows and watch Advent Children again and again until I have to return it to Wilson-san. Hahaha. I'd probably get hit by a volleyball again, just like in all the other intrams I've reluctantly attended.
rewritethepast: (neopet petpet)
The scanner hates me. It's making weird sounds.

Ah, I forgot to connect it to the computer. Stupid Raine.

***

ACET tomorrow.

I don't think I'll ever be ready for it. >_<

***

On Tuesday a chair fell on me. Yay. I now have a huge unattractive bruise on my leg. Very seductive. All because of English.

Let's hope my parents don't see it so that I won't get buzzkilled (rather, killed with razors).

***

Physics Lab Report sucks. Didn't sleep one hour because of it. Died in the Chem LT because of it. Had to copy someone's math hw because of it. Not to mention the layout's anal.

Who the hell cares if it's the format of a scientific journal? I doubt any learned scientist would want to read about scattering iron filings on a piece of cardboard.

The teacher who devised that format has problems.

***

I shouldn't hate STR. My groupmates are great, the topic is great, and I'm getting too attached to our tetrahymena cultures.

Sadly, I still hate STR. Maybe it's because nothing will please my teacher, or that she insists that we report on nonexistent results on Monday, or she always goes off somewhere when anyone from our class feels like consulting her.

Or something like that.

***

Am getting attached to the tetrahymena. Must desist. They'll only have enough nutrients for a month. I'll have to kill them in a month. Who knows how much of magnetic field exposure can they take before dying (our proposal)?

Damn.

***

Someone watched porn right in front of me in AdProg. On my computer.

Damn. I'm staying next to Jean-san now. And forever.

I feel the need to bathe myself in alcohol. Or something.

And no, Marx-san, I don't ever want to know the pleasures of such things.

***

He's super cute. ^_^ And he's brilliant.

And I think I'm allergic to one of his classmates' perfume. >_<

Damn.
rewritethepast: (poor grundo)
"Manalo, matalo, DOTA parin!"
- from Truth people

My sentiments exactly. DOTA is love addiction. I should have played it at SM North while waiting for Wilson-san to finish playing Ragna, but none of the others wanted to play. >_< Meanies.

***

I have not done anything since getting home but (in no particular order) collapse on the bed, sleep, or stumble blindly to the bathroom. Wait, I went to Mass a while ago. Still. My muscles are threatening to disown me. Again. >_< And I think my foot is sprained. Damn.

***

I still have no idea if I have a failing grade or not. Two weeks back some people were saying that I was one of the five in Graviton that didn't have a failing mark, but others said (quite vocally and sort of snottily) that I had a failing mark. >_< Then yesterday suddenly people accost me and say "Wala kang bagsak?" I don't know what I should feel about all this.

This is why one should just visit one's friendly section adviser and ask to see her grades. Period.
rewritethepast: (poor grundo)
I can't really think of anything to say. Oh wait, I just did.

Muscles hurt. Feet hurt. Body parts I never knew I had (rather, body parts I never paid attention to other than in Bio class) hurt like hell. Damnit, not even daydreaming about him makes the muscle pain go away. Damn damn damn.

I have zero athletic component in my body. No, that was in first year. Now I have negative athletic component. Gah.

I think I'll drop dead of fatigue right after the Graviton presentation. The bad thing is that I'll be happy if it happens. (Death = no CAT shift.)

Meep, wala na daw pasok bukas. Practice?
rewritethepast: (poor grundo)
Yeah. Just what the subject thing says. I feel really sick and crappy today, which is why I'm posting right now. >_< I wouldn't go to school tomorrow if not for teh evil Chem LT lurking about. Wish I could come later than English class though... >_<

HP Book 6 = angsty, hormonal, revealing, backstabbing, resolute love. I'd make a color bar, but Photoshop's screwy right now for me. Argh.

I'm sort of glad I finished Book 6 at around 3 pm last Saturday. Absolutely no one could spoil it for me. :) However, now I'm depressed to hell. Rarar. This is worse than Book 5. *mourns*

I saw him today :) Am so very happy. Well, except for the fact that he seemed hungry. Ah well. Not like I could offer him food or anything without him becoming suspicious. >_<

Boku wa Imouto ni Koi wo Suru is crack incest. Incest with biological twists. Didn't know it was possible to have twins with two different fathers until I started reading it last year. It is thankfully rare, of course. I guess it's not even first degree incest anymore, but incest between half-siblings. Still illegal. >_< I swear, the Japanese mind fetish is crack. Where else would you find an anime with a male Bear raping a guy? (Green Green, only saving grace of the series is its crack value.)

Reminder to self: Steal DVD-Burner from Aniki.

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