rewritethepast: (resignation)
You know you need a break from life in general when you wake up in the morning, take a bath, and suddenly realize that you're about to put deodorant on your toothpaste.

Not like I can take one anytime soon, though.

***

The length of my lj entries is inversely proportional to the frequency of my posting them. )

***

Congratulations to Kim and Miggy for winning the Qwizardy (sp?) contest!

And a note to all of us: Starbucks was not founded by Mr. Star or Mr. Bucks. Just like the Johari window was not conceptualized by Mr. Johari.

***

Donk moment of the... wait, I think I have too many donk moments, period. )

***

Do you remember the day we cut class because we saw a hamster at the front lobby? )

***

[I’m really sorry this is late, Vinni-san; writing (rather, attempting to write) about hydrates and oxy-red reactions used up all my words.]

To my friend the demon warrior who beheaded me, hee. )

***

And the Coke and the beer stay untouched side by side, blending into the table and into the shadows and disappear from my sight. )

***

Sometimes love has to take a backseat to everything else, you know.

That time is now, but it won’t be for evermore.

Although it is nice to think that my last cry was induced not by angst but by prolonged aerial exposure to formalin.

But I can’t keep on running away forever, and I’m just waiting for the time when my path runs out and I slam into a brick wall.

***

And you try again, and I am reminded why I hate instant messengers. Honestly, the first time I use it in a long time (for schoolwork, no less) and you put me off it again with your deceiving messages sent at the wrong time and the wrong place. Then again, every time is the wrong time and everywhere we’re not face-to-face is the wrong place.

Am I cruel for not replying? I guess I am. Propriety demands that I at least reply to your message, no matter how distasteful, without feeling, and how fake it is. Then I remember what happened the last time (and please make it the last time) I followed propriety and I think I made the right decision.

Your words, I’ve heard them before. Tell me something new this time, or at least change the words. I’m sure you’re competent enough to check an online thesaurus.

I repeat, I repeat, and I repeat myself again: I’m not that kind. I’m not that naïve. I’m not that trusting anymore. If you’re going to try at all, put some more effort in it at least. And I'm not about to jeopardize my chance at contentment just to give you 'peace of mind.'

***

Okay. In light of it being Martin Luther King Day two weeks ago, I found out that Mr. King was murdered in Lorraine Hotel. (Thankfully it has been demolished.)

My birthname becomes more and more auspicious. *rolls eyes*

***

Nevertheless, I am still trying to be happy now. )

***

Poison makes me sleepy.

I stay in the back, though, so I can sleep to my heart’s content. (Unless there’s a test, of course.) Sleep or write in my planner or even do the Math module. >_<

Of course, poison sometimes weakens with time. Other times, it gets stronger, somehow evolves into a more destructive and virulent form of itself, because it was left to survive how many years.

In our case… it’s probably the latter.

***
Imagine a perfectly healthy frog, valiantly trying to hop away into the wilderness that is UP Manila, being held down by three or four girls with a male skinning its hind leg. )





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rewritethepast: (resignation)
I saw a tumor almost as big as my head last Wednesday.

Turn back now if your stomach is extremely weak.

Do you know that diapers can be used as bandages? )

***

Happy birthday Fria-san :) And Sir Vlad (as if he knows about this blog, lol)!

***

I have finally done one of the eight things I wanted to do before I died :)

I finally found a shrimp stuffed toy :) :) And it's sitting on my table right now, sort of encouraging me to finish up my Chem Formal Lab Report with its smile. (Wait, do shrimps even smile? Lol.)

Granted, it is a cheesy one (bought from a famous restaurant chain) but still :)

Now it can join my jellyfish, octopus, mollusk, spider, caterpillar, and two lobsters in my invertebrate collection :)

Cheers :)

***

I hate writer’s block.

But do you know what I hate more than writer’s block?

I hate knowing exactly what I want to write and not being able to write it because I lack time to commit it to paper, Livejournal, or even a Microsoft Word file.

Bah.

***

My teacher likes to make pronouncements that shock the populace (I mean, Intarmed 2013).

After getting our results of the last departmental exam, he then said this: “Lahat ng 85 and above ay may plus 10.” Shocked and some happy gasps were heard. “Pero, lahat ng 60 and below ay may minus 10.” Outraged gasps were then heard. (I’m not sure if this holds for all the tests or if it’s on a test-to-test basis.)

I am not affected by either as of now, but it’s very very disturbing.

Then again, my brother (from Ateneo) tells me that there’s this teacher there who has this grading curve where the people with the lowest grades in a class will automatically fail. The teacher taught this class with Management Eng and Management Honors and the lowest grades there was around 80%. Sure enough, those with 80% failed.

Eep. Hopefully there are no teachers like that here.

***

I didn’t massacre search for the ganglia and other parts of the nervous system of our frog last Friday (my groupmates did), so Vinni-san can rest easy because I won’t be describing it so intensely. (Joan and I studied slides of the frog and human spinal cord and took pictures of it using Dingdong’s cameraphone.)

“But…” )

***

[I said three days, and I extend by one. Maybe I was attacked by an eleventh-hour cowardly bug, but better late than never. I'm sorry to be so erm, mad in this entry but this has been a long time coming. And if you don't understand a thing, it's definitely not directed at you :)]

I don't believe in your pretty words, those that fill up my cellphone's inbox and whirl around in my mind.  )

[Note 1: I don’t care anymore. Think of this as my last move in our twisted game. Besides, I think you still won anyway because it’s you after all. Let me go down with readable prose, at least.]

[Note 2: And I think this wins the longest post in my lj award (not counting Contest or memorial posts). Thank you for reading, if you did, even if you skipped parts of it.]

[Note 3: Hey, mutual friend? I'm not mad at you. I won't be mad at you either if you go tell him about this entry either.]





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rewritethepast: (sad)
Today, I got robbed.

You know what I lost? Not my cellphone (which is admittedly old but still is a cameraphone), not my wallet (which is admittedly ugly and old), nor my room keys (eh?).

Let me retell the story so that I will laugh at it when I'm old and my straight hair is pure gray. (Hopefully LJ won't crash or anything by then.)

I was in Robinson's Place Mall, walking towards National Bookstore with Joan's handouts (a Math and a Hum one - the Hum one being a short story) in my hand (since I needed to xerox them), when suddenly this tall dark-skinned guy holding a yellow sotanghon cup (with chocolately substance inside, oddly, not sotanghon), bumps into me hard and walks off at a fast pace. (My hip still hurts from it.) I feel something tugging at the papers (the handouts) held by my thumb at that brief instant, but I don't realize what happened exactly. When I come to, I enter National Bookstore and look for the photocopying machine. I find it, and I notice that the Kom handout is missing and it's only the Math handout in my hand.

Now, I didn't think of the guy automatically. I backtracked all my steps and found no Hum short story. Yes, I even asked Customer Service. Gaaah.

I dazedly go back home and check my things. Yes, the Hum short story is missing. My cellphone is still alive and well. My wallet is still intact with the correct amount of money inside. My keys are still present. My handbag isn't slashed. The Math handout is still alive and well (but unxeroxed).

I'm not sure exactly if it's Sotanghon Cup guy who stole the handout but I guess someone did at that moment. (Because I think I had the handout before I reached that side of the mall.) There's no other reasoning behind it, unless I just imagined the tugging at the papers or the handout vanished into thin air.

And thus is my first erm, experience of being robbed actively (I did get some of my stuff stolen in Pisay, but they were stolen while I wasn't around).

Waaaaaaah. I have a feeling my family will laugh at me this weekend. My sister told me that one is lucky if one survives a year without getting robbed in Manila. And now I have been robbed. Of Joan's short story.

I swear, my life is definitely odd, stupid, laughable if it weren't my life, or an indeterminate combination of the three.

And I needed to read that short story for tomorrow! :( It was the unedited version with the sex scene we must analyze! (I only have the edited copy in my Hum book, the one with the cut sex scene.)

Good evening 2007, this is definitely an odd year.

***

It's been a week and two days since you first texted. It's been four days since I gave you my final answer.

In three days, I'll make my final move. Don't say I didn't warn you, because it's been a long time coming.

Not that I think you read my blog or anything, but our mutual friend deserves an explanation. And I don't trust anything coming out of your mouth or thought of by your mind.

***

Warning. Not as gruesomely descriptive as the last entry, but still. Read when not eating? )

***

Sure enough, there was an earthworm on the rug. )

***

The memories of all the fires I watched from the Pisay oval last school year came back to me in a flash when there was a fire at the Supreme Court on Monday. I didn't actually see the fire but I did see five fire trucks whiz past the Robinson's Place Mall heading in the Supreme Court's general direction. Apparently its Session Hall was the one with the fire, and faulty wiring might have caused it.

I don't know if this is a freak accident or if it was intentional because apparently some cases which are to be heard by the Supreme Court will be postponed because of said fire. I just know that when I passed the Supreme Court at around 9:40 pm later, the Supreme Court building looked very very wet. >_<

***

When Cybill, Joan, and I passed our College (College of Medicine Building otherwise known as Calderon Hall), there were a lot of media present - you know, reporters, microphones, cameramen, the works. We three wondered what had happened. We tried to observe for a while, but we saw nothing in particular.

Apparently, this is what happened. )

When I decided to go to school here, I didn't think that there would be so many newsworthy things of this nature... I mean, there are protests here all the time (especially since we're near the Department of Justice, the Court of Appeals, the Supreme Court) and there are always TV crews and all but these are weird things. And I guess these things don't happen in other places.

Hmmm. Going to school here is definitely not boring.

***

I think I better stop now before my head hurts again. I wanted to write more, but I think I described enough med-related stuff for today.

Last thing: I miss Jman's entries. :(
rewritethepast: (determined)
I'm wondering how brave I am concerning this blog of mine.

Am I fearless enough to keep it public even as I encounter people and events that make me get closer to the true me, the me that I don't want anyone to know, or am I going to be a coward and hide it all, maybe even abort the blog itself?

I'm starting to wonder why I'm alive, why I blog, and why people read my blog. For kicks? For a laugh? Or maybe they're worried about me. Maybe they like the writing style. Or the picture posts. Or maybe that's all a delusion.

I started this blog as a jumping board, a draft of my fictionalized life works. Now, it's become so much more than that, yet essentially it still is that.

The questions are: am I willing to share what I am now with those I have left behind more than four years ago and what I once was with those I'm just meeting now?

I don't think he reads this, though, if you ask. If he does (or did), he's never told me. And honestly, please don't ask him, because I don't think I'm prepared to know whatever the answer is.

And guys? Thanks. Thanks a lot. Thanks for everything :)

***

The contest :) )

I am seriously thinking of adding 10 more people because of the scores so far. If my prediction is right, it might end in a tie. >_<

While I think about it (and any suggestions are appreciated), I've added opportunities for earning bonus points to some of the unanswered questions.

Note: (August 29, 2006) I'll repost this tomorrow, since it's getting messy. Please do not comment here anymore when that is posted. I'll freeze/screen comments tomorrow in this post, so when that happens, please comment on the new post. :)

Note: (August 30, 2006) Please post your answers here. :)
rewritethepast: (determined)
In NSTP yesterday we were taught many things about infectious diseases.

Signs of a bird with avian flu:
Crown is purple.
Weak in general.
Nasal and beak discharge.
etc.

Also, a confirmation of leptospirosis. (Which is the disease you get from exposure to rat urine, which can be fatal if not treated.)

Also, we debunked the idea that looking into the eyes of a person with sore eyes will be equal to getting sore eyes.

We learned about the Father of Handwashing and the ancestor of Alcogel, chlorinated lime solution!

But best of all, we learned how to wash our hands properly! :) There are six simple steps to washing one's hand properly.

The six steps! )

These steps are important since we apparently miss a lot of areas using our normal ways of washing hands.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Very scary. Yet at least we have found out.

Also, we were given freebies :) Some of us won special purple hand sanitizer (Ahem, Joan Joanne.). Everyone got a free bar of antibacterial soap. :) And we all got this nifty pin :)

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

***

Busted! )

***

It's been two weeks or so since I first got it, and now I don't know how I lived without it for so long. :)

I love white yellow pad!!! :) (aka Business Pad) Now I can use correction tape on yellow pad without being very very obvious :) :) As I loved yellow pad before (and wrote the infamous stories on it) now I will love and love and love my white yellow pad (and probably write more infamous stuff on it) :) :)

I should stock up on it now :) Sa Katipunan palang ako nakakita eh. :(

***

The dangers of having synesthesia, PE style. Also, the colors I see when I hear the song 'Sex Bomb'. Haha. )

***

Whatever the hell that thing was at the bottom of my last entry. )

***

Okay, Math question. (Since we just had our departmental exam on Tuesday.)

For any real number, k, w, x, and y, the statement w varies jointly as x and y means w = kxy. True or false?

***

Speaking of which, I wonder if we'll ever have a departmental exam in Math that starts on time. Twice, there has been delays. (We start at past 6:00 -at least- when we should have started at 5:30 pm.) The first was because of possible brownouts, seating arrangements, etc. while the second was due to room problems. We were told to go to our normal room, then we were told to move to this other room. We wait a long time for our teacher to appear. Then we were made to go away by the Behavioral Science teacher since it was their room, after all. Then we go to our original room, which is locked. >_< Then we go to the next room which is small, cramped, and has no aircon. So there is a shortage of armchairs, so people have to get them also.

Of course our teacher lamented the uselessness of his prepared seat plan instead of soothing our ruffled/smashed emotions. Interestingly enough, he still hasn't gotten the memo that David is in New Zealand and isn't going to claim his slot in Intarmed anytime soon. (Even though David-san has not attended any Math class ever.) >_< Donk.

It's unfair. The other classes were allowed to use calculators. We were the only ones not allowed to use them. Stupid biased piyok man teacher. (What a description.) I know we may be erm, considered highly intelligent, but it's unfair to deny us something granted to all the other Math 17 classes in UP Manila! *is bitter*

***

Philo class musings... )

***

Belated Happy Birthday Clar-san!!! :)

***

Hey, is everyone going to the Alumni Homecoming on September 2? I want to go! :) I hope I can go. O.o

Maybe I should start another contest (and give the prize out then, if the winner isn't out of the country - of course if you're from Intarmed, I can give it directly. If you're neither, I'll figure out a way. Haha.). LBC hates me. (Sorry Josef-san!!! I'll try again this weekend!) Would anyone join, though? Haha.

***

Obviously I am procrastinating from finishing homework for my very unit-heavy yet brain-numbing-in-more-ways-than-one subject.

I have a new theory about why Mr. Teacher's always late and sweaty, though.

***

If I ever say goodbye, let's hope I'm strong enough to not falter and run back and say 'Hello again.'
rewritethepast: (Default)
Yeah, I changed some things about my livejournal. I realized that my previous title, etc. didn't fit the color scheme and decided to modify them. Everything is based on the fact that I have synesthesia, which I have had for seventeen years and have accepted.

Why Incandescence?

in·can·des·cence n.
1. The emission of visible light by a hot object.
2. The light emitted by an incandescent object.
3. A high degree of emotion, intensity, or brilliance.

(From American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, 2000.)

Considering the things I post here, I feel that it is appropriate.

Let's see how long the layout lasts.

***

My absence on Friday, not that many noticed... )

***

Picture taking! )

***

Weird things happened at Pisay today. (I was there sadly because of STR.) There was this Korean (??) competition being held. While I sat by one of the green tables in the front lobby waiting for my STR groupmate, lots of people kept coming up to me asking where the bathrooms were. When I pointed to the bathrooms, they asked which one was the girls and the boys cr. >_< (They couldn't understand the signs?)

Of course my groupmate gets to school one hour and a half after the time we set, when I had finally fallen asleep on the green tables. Damn.

We saw Melo-san and Lissa-san there. :) They were using the machines that take extract from things. >_< I didn't know peanut extract was pink and bubbly. It's a pretty pink too, the kind I see when my roommate speaks. I sort of wish we had done something like that too instead of our undying solenoid + mosquito parasite project.

***

Well. I know I said in my last entry that I wouldn't fake it anymore. But I can't do it.

Why? I guess I don't want him to feel sad. I guess in the end I still want his friendship. Yeah, I guess I still do.

This is why I hate myself. I don't want people to be sad; I'd rather I take on all the sadness and let them be happy. Even if they deserve to feel low and useless and like the scum of the earth that they are.

I can't escape it.

I'll be eaten alive in college because of this.

***

You know something?

I love him.

You know something else?

I don't think I'll ever stop loving him.

***

Hey. You. Yeah, you.

After all these years at Pisay with you in my life...

I think that nothing is better or worse than waking up every morning and thinking that I love you.

(And if you've seen this line in [profile] textsecret, yeah, I'm the one who submitted it.)
rewritethepast: (Anna)
Apparently lots of people viewed the last journal entry in the past week. Gah. My Photobucket account died. I only just restored it just now. Gah.

Maybe I should try a Friends-Only journal?

Haha. It's not like anyone knows who he is anyway. At least no one's guesses have been correct anyway.

Besides, I don't like the idea of somewhat restricting my journal.

Yay self.

***

I feel so happy today. (And yesterday, and probably the day before.) Wilson-san and Aaron-san will vouch for my extreme loopiness these past few days.

Why?

Let's just say he told me something. Something that keeps me blushing still up to now.

Meep. *blushes*

***

I'm not going to write about him today, but I will tomorrow. *sees people scurrying away from journal* Good.

It's just plain weird when people (of which some you've never spoken to before in your life) come up to you and go "Lorraine, sino yun?" or "Lorraine, who's your crush?" or even "Lalaki ba talaga siya?" (*hits head on desk*)

He's a guy. A male. Yes he is. And he's from Ruby. And he's younger than me. And he's taller. (Haha.)

Guys, you're just not noticing something. Seriously. That's all for now.

January 2008

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