rewritethepast: (determined)
On Tuesday, I committed school-sanctioned murder.

The murder weapon? Formalin.

My partner-in-crime? Joan.

And death only came to our victim after we forcibly disintegrated its brain and spinal cord (using a probe) and removed most of its skin cells. It tried weakly (unintentionally) to poison us when we cut off its cheeks (where the poison was stored/secreted) but it only got a bit of Joan’s cheek.

I know it’s normal, and it’s for science (and I did learn a lot from the experience), but for some reason I still feel sorry for the frog.

There was so much blood, gushing from the holes we made and falling down on the ground. And even as we skinned it, we saw its heart beat weakly and oh, its body is so cold.

And then it’s the end and we wash up our scalpels and scissors, pouring the diluted formalin in our glass jar and there you go in, frog, and that’s that. No more eleventh hour reprieve, no more last bids for freedom.

And on Tuesday, oh dear Tuesday, it’s your muscles next. (To my knowledge, that is.)


Is it sadistic to derive pleasure from causing an animal pain?

Because in some weird bizarre way I enjoyed skinning our frog, enjoyed snipping the fragile threads holding the epithelial skin cells to the muscles, enjoyed seeing its muscles in all their nakedness. (Of course, I did have a cold so I couldn’t smell it – my classmates all complained about the frog’s smell.) And while we relieved our frog of its largest organ, its heart kept beating, reminding us that our specimen was still alive. And I’d feel a pang of guilt for the frog and think and then Ma’am will remind us to continue skinning and I’d pick up the scalpel and scissors again and snip snip snip I go and more of the skin ends up on the board where the frog’s pinned to. (We drove pins through its erm, paws. We all thought of “Crucifixion,” except the hind feet weren’t pinned together but separated.)

I couldn’t really hold the frog while it was alive (alive and not paralyzed), but it seemed normal (and even natural) to hold it once it stopped being able to move.

Its muscles are fascinating. They were slippery and dark red and cold to the touch and when we removed the skin we tried not to cut them (and I think we succeeded, to a point). I kept thinking to myself, I’m holding a naked muscle (not encased by skin) that isn’t cooked in my hand, a muscle still attached to a living organism. It’s fascinating, from its surprisingly tough dark skin (hard to cut even with the sharp pairs of scissors included in our dissecting kits) to its very small thumbs (the indicator of whether a frog is male or female – I think ours was male since its thumbs were a bit swollen, but one of my classmates reckons he got a pregnant frog), to its cheeks which secrete a creamy yellow poison to its weakly beating heart. And we’ve only started observing it externally. Do you know how to remove the skin of a frog stuck to its feet? You pull it off like you would a glove (although it needs more pressure).

There’s a psychological thing here, but I’m missing it by a mile.

I wonder how I’ll feel when it’s cat-dissecting time. Wait, I think the cats will be killed before we dissect them. Maybe when it’s shark-dissecting time.


Why is it that nothing goes right?

Or maybe everything’s just wrong.

Same banana.

Or maybe not.


I blush when I think of it, although I think I shouldn’t.

But it’s like an entirely new feeling now, blushing like this. It’s not because of embarrassment, nor is it because I feel sick, but…

Maybe, just maybe, I’m feeling something for someone I haven’t known for a long time now.

Or maybe I’m still sick.


You know those times when you just want to curl up and sleep but you can’t because propriety demands you stay awake?

Danged propriety.


I’m still sick and I know I’m not getting better.

And you know something? It’s all your fault.


I honestly think life should have save points. You know, those areas in role-playing video games where one can save before embarking on a new adventure or continuing one. Imagine saving before tests, before confessing, before mouthing off to a teacher… Then you can reset to the last saved part of your life if you don’t like the results.

Then again, I’d probably end up saving every three minutes or so. So I’ll just hover around the save areas for the rest of my life. Donk.


I have a new friend. She’s (I think she’s female) terribly light and rather brittle, and she can accompany me to school in my backpack. I’m terribly interested in her (at least I need to be interested) and I know I’ll learn a lot from her.

And she only cost 60 pesos (thank you UP Manila for the price cut)! Hee, it’s weird having a frog skeleton on your bed.


Many people tell me to not listen to her, but it's like a knife in one's heart when she reminds you that you're not like other people, that you're not biologically perfect like them.

I shouldn't listen.

But I'm required to.


The Math Long Test I had earlier killed me.

But at least there were no swimming cockroaches (although when we left the campus Joan and Joanne encountered a lot of them on the street) nor rain (it rained the day before) nor denial of the right to use calculators.

Or something like that.

And now it's time to study for my two departmental exams tomorrow. Donk.


Belated happy birthday Nya :)


It’s you I still dream about.

And it’s you that keeps me wanting not to wake up anymore.
rewritethepast: (resignation)
Have you ever woken up, thinking there was no point to waking up? That waking up would just make you face everything you've run away from, all those things you wish just didn't exist?

I've been waking up and thinking that for a long while now.

Regardless, even if I'm scandalously late (and my phone is missing yet again, hiding beneath my bed for unknown reasons!), Meri Kurisumasu, Maligayang Pasko, Merry Christmas. :)


This Christmas I received seven bags. :) I like bags.

But of course Christmas means something else, which is the mutilation of my French first first name. Gah. You know it's bad when it's the relative you see the most that massacres your name beyond recognition (only one r, i before a, etc.) and the relatives you forgot you had spell your name perfectly.

Eighteen Christmases have shown me one thing: no matter how easy it is supposedly to pronounce one's name (on record, only one person has mispronounced my first first name, and that's my English teacher in 2nd year), it is only too easy to misspell it.

Still, it was an interesting Christmas. Thanks to everyone that texted me :) I would have texted but my phone is still hiding under the bed. >_<


My family decided to eat at Makati Shang for Christmas dinner.

Hee, who should be at a nearby table but Zsa Zsa Padilla and Dolphy. I didn't recognize any of the other people they were with though.

That takes care of my Celebrity Sighting quota for the year. :)


Hey Block 13, you know that book we're supposed to read for Humanidades 1? "Ang Daigdig ng Tao?"

Its author just passed away a few days ago this year. :(


It's never been an option to admit I love you, you know.

Believe me, I've tried. I've tried and tried and looked for all the opportunities to do so, even making plans for them when they wouldn't come into my life.

It's first year all over again and I'm answering a long test in Integrated Science, scribbling down answers on a piece of intermediate pad paper rapidly since I studied hard and know all the answers. I write and write and suddenly you stand up and submit your paper and all the names and scientific information in my mind disappears in an instant and my heart beats faster and nothing is left but my thinking about you, you, and only you and soon the bell rings and my paper's only half finished and I leave the classroom in a daze.

All those years and I wait, wait and wait, and still nothing comes to pass. Then it's all gone wrong and it's you and me under one of those large trees and it's your voice I remember from that night, your firm voice telling me it's all just a game, a game and my heart cracks and it's all lost and you turn away like a gentleman does so I can cry without being shamed, with only the tree and the rain as my witnesses. Yet you're still there, just a foot away, and I want to speak but my voice has gone raspy and tears are the only thing I can express coherently.

It's all a game for you.

I wish you'd realize it never was.

Maybe, maybe everything now is because of you. Maybe my insomnia, my nonexistent attention span, my pale face and wish to run away from everything is because of this uncertainty that has always surrounded us, cloaked us and made what could be into what never was.

And now I sleep and sleep, hoping never to wake up, never to see the sunlight filter into my room past the venetian blinds. Let me stay in my dreams, Sandman, don't bring me back into this waking world. Please. Because I know what will be the thought in my mind when I wake up, when I wipe the tears from my eyes and touch my damp pillow and bring it out to dry.

I'll never be able to say it now.


Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

I can't wait. :)

Wow, the series I started reading in grade 5 is about to get finished soon. I think I'm going to feel what I felt when I finished Book 13 of Series of Unfortunate Events, only on a much larger scale because HP... for some days, it was all I had to think about positively.


It's apparently illegal and immoral to sell one's kidney.

According to the Department of Health, at least.


The Letter Meme, where Jar-san gave me the letter O. Gah. )

Okay, this was hard. Gaah.


Why is it that relatives never get clothes sizes right? You gain weight or maintain it and they give you stuff that won't fit a toddler. You lose weight and they give you stuff that'd fit a sumo wrestler. >_<


My brother wants to buy a Magic Sing. Help!

Site Meter

rewritethepast: (resignation)
[Comments screened just in case :)]

My classmate asked me to look for a song that has osmosis (or red blood cells) as a topic so that we could play it while we discussed our experiment on red blood cells.

So I type some words in Google and I search.

Barring all the links to songs from the Osmosis Jones soundtrack, I found this disturbing song. (I'm breaking my rule of not putting complete song lyrics in normal posts because it's special. Specially disturbing.)

The cardiovascular system is infected through osmosis... )

It's erm... very biologically violent. Also aurally violent.

Obviously we did not use it because we were scared Ma'am (and our classmates) would be traumatized.


Well, Wednesday was supposed to be my first day in a PGH ward.

Now, Trebor-san had regaled me with his experiences in the ward (the blood transfusion, etc.) so I thought that I should bring gloves and a face mask (under advisement).

I get there and I end up...

Painting plastic flowers made out of dextrose bags. Perfect. Ah yes, painting them red.

*sigh* I hope next year's ward days will be better (and more related to my course). Of course I could be asked to take down the ward's Christmas decorations...


I'm not used to getting complimented on my hair.

And people always gasp and frown when I tell them what shampoo I use. And then they ask about my conditioner and they don't like what they hear either. >_<

Meep. I only use my shampoo and conditioner because:
1. It works :) and
2. My brother worked for the company that makes it at one point in time.

Different point of view: my relatives swear by the expensive horse shampoo (that's sold at Duty Free) that's erm... used on horses (and rich people). I have no idea if it's effective though. >_< My relatives don't have shiny hair, though. I wonder if it works well, though. We had a bottle of it once at home but my father decided to claim it as his own (sort of).


Oblation Run on 12/12/06.

Considering that I have classes from 8:00 am (because of ACLE) to 7:30 pm that day, I guess I'll probably be on campus when it actually happens.

Erm. I do not know what to say.


"UP Manila Scandal: The whole of Intarmed 2013 cuts class!"

No, not really. We were actually excused by our College (College of Medicine) because we had a special event later that day (Tao Rin Pala*, a yearly program showcasing the artistic talents of the Medicine students and even the PGH doctors). Unfortunately, the memo didn't reach one of our teachers.

Of course, I wouldn't be lying if I said that it's not my favorite class.

Take what you will from that statement. :)

*Thank you for correcting me, Joan :)

"Human embryos have webbed hands until _______ remove them."
-Paraphrased question from our Bio quiz

Well, the answer is the lysosome (rather, lysosomes).

It's an interesting question, actually. :) Nothing run-of-the-mill.

We also had this:
"Our hands are wrinkled after doing the laundry because of the soap solution which is a __________ solution." (paraphrased also)

Well, the soap solution is hypertonic compared to our body...

I like these questions but the other questions in the quiz were murder. >_<

So more studying in the future for me =P


Math teacher: *discuss discuss on conics and lines*
Math teacher: "You don't need to memorize them (the formulas for conics), just remember them."
Class: *varying degrees of confusion at statement*
Math teacher: *notices*
Math teacher: "What? You don't memorize your name... but you remember it. You don't memorize your boyfriend's name but you remember it."

Oo nga naman.


Was there something in the air today that made people wear red? (Well, today is a holy day of obligation but...)

Since my group in Bio Lab had to report on an experiment involving red blood cells, we all wore something red. But that doesn't explain why a lot of UP Manila people and even a lot of people in church were wearing red.

What a coincidence. Or maybe I'm reading too much into this. Besides, the other day a lot of people was wearing blue. =P


I still haven't forgotten the anguish you put me through, your misuse of our friendship, nor the horrible things that happened (that you directly and indirectly made happen) in the years we've known each other. Honestly, I'd be happy not seeing you again. I don't think that's a realistic wish, though, considering who you are and who I am.

But still, I hope you have a happy birthday. (Belated, I mean.)

And actually, this is meant for two people. Yes, you. Also you.


We can get our high school diplomas now?

Uwah, that's great :) Now if only Pisay would fork over my high school transcript too, life would be so much happier (well, a little). :)


I was supposed to place something dramatic here but the dramatic thing got eaten by the recycle bin. >_<

Ah well, I have a printed copy. :) So eventually it will get posted here, when I find the time to type it all out.


And lastly...

Vinni-san, welcome back :)

Site Meter

rewritethepast: (hoe)
[Note: Sorry for the mixed-up convoluted post. I hope I can make a more coherent one next time.]

I can't escape you, even though I try sitting far away and teachers innovate different ways of separating us...

It's just plain old alphabetical destiny.


[edited thanks to Josef-san]

Happy Birthday Louie-san :)


Excerpt from Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' wedding vows:
Minister: "Now, Tom, girls need clothes, and food and tender happiness and frills. A pan, a comb, perhaps a cat. All caprice, if you will. But still they need them. Do you then provide? Do you?"
Tom: "I do."

Lol. A pan, a comb, and a cat. Donk.


My Bio 22 Lecture teacher was my sister's thesis adviser last year.

Talk about coincidence.

Of course, since my sister was in a different course, I doubt he'd realize the family relationship.

Not to mention he seems rather...

Wait. Stop that thought. This is a public post. :)


Ookido Shigeru,

I waited four long anime seasons for you.

I'm glad you're back. :) Course we all know Satoshi's going to get more airtime since he's the Chosen One but still.


My hair is now more than two feet long. More than two rulers placed side by side.

It's really heavy when it's wet. >_<

Thank you Joan-san for putting up with my hair since I can't tie it to save my life :)


I'm glad you had fun, Josef-san :)


I'm writing fanfiction again. >_< I can't believe it.

I swear I wanted a one-shot but it's spawned into a multi-chapter thing.



With the given statements "Man does not have instincts," "There is no such thing as a maternal instinct nor the instinct to preserve one's self (self-preservation)," and the tantalizing unexplained statement "Man created God..."

This is going to be one battle-filled SocSci 1 class.

And we have to watch Pocahontas and Pocahontas 2 for next week. Hmmm.


My Math 100 teacher is a practicing neurosurgeon.

His premed was Math.

OMGWTFBBQ, indeed. :)


This is easily becoming a very expensive semester. >_<


You take away my Fridays and now my Saturdays too...

At least I claim part of my Wednesdays back.

Somehow I don't think it's a fair trade.

Because Wednesday is Wednesday and Saturdays are Saturdays, OMGWTFBBQ!!!

Ok, shutting up now.
rewritethepast: (determined)
This is late by two days, but ah well. I'll still do it. Not that I think he reads my blog or anything, but hey.

From the first contest:

"You know me better than I know myself. I think you already know who the person I love is, but you're waiting for me to be able to admit it to myself before you bring it up. Your third year section was Potassium. We don't agree on the anime we like to watch, but you have good taste in anime songs. I was mad at you for a while in first year because of a certain person we were both classmates with. We play the same musical instrument."

And the second contest:

"I want to see the carabao, the carabao, the carabao! :)"

Well, you've just turned seventeen and I'm happy you seem happy where you are. I wish we had become classmates, but well, our paths may diverge but we'll always be friends wherever your intelligence brings you.

Happy 17th Birthday Inzo-sama :) Thanks for the thing with the carrots at the prom. And I still want to see the carabao you won, even though it's in a glass case. :( I wanted to ride on it =P


Vinni-san, I saw your ad in the Philippine Star :)


I don't like what the Justice Secretary said.

Honestly, what he said is uncouth and generalist, bordering on silly and petulant. Makes me think he's bitter about something. (Maybe he failed the exam, lol.)

Funny he should say that, though, since UP Manila is very very near the Department of Justice. (I walk past it everyday on the way to one of my buildings.)

Not that I'm hearing any major uprisings, but maybe the PolSci people here (I think there are some, anyway) will do something.


The contest with new questions and more bonus point opportunities :) )

And right now, Vinni-san's leading :)

Note: Please don't comment here, use the next post. :)
rewritethepast: (determined)
In NSTP yesterday we were taught many things about infectious diseases.

Signs of a bird with avian flu:
Crown is purple.
Weak in general.
Nasal and beak discharge.

Also, a confirmation of leptospirosis. (Which is the disease you get from exposure to rat urine, which can be fatal if not treated.)

Also, we debunked the idea that looking into the eyes of a person with sore eyes will be equal to getting sore eyes.

We learned about the Father of Handwashing and the ancestor of Alcogel, chlorinated lime solution!

But best of all, we learned how to wash our hands properly! :) There are six simple steps to washing one's hand properly.

The six steps! )

These steps are important since we apparently miss a lot of areas using our normal ways of washing hands.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Very scary. Yet at least we have found out.

Also, we were given freebies :) Some of us won special purple hand sanitizer (Ahem, Joan Joanne.). Everyone got a free bar of antibacterial soap. :) And we all got this nifty pin :)

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Busted! )


It's been two weeks or so since I first got it, and now I don't know how I lived without it for so long. :)

I love white yellow pad!!! :) (aka Business Pad) Now I can use correction tape on yellow pad without being very very obvious :) :) As I loved yellow pad before (and wrote the infamous stories on it) now I will love and love and love my white yellow pad (and probably write more infamous stuff on it) :) :)

I should stock up on it now :) Sa Katipunan palang ako nakakita eh. :(


The dangers of having synesthesia, PE style. Also, the colors I see when I hear the song 'Sex Bomb'. Haha. )


Whatever the hell that thing was at the bottom of my last entry. )


Okay, Math question. (Since we just had our departmental exam on Tuesday.)

For any real number, k, w, x, and y, the statement w varies jointly as x and y means w = kxy. True or false?


Speaking of which, I wonder if we'll ever have a departmental exam in Math that starts on time. Twice, there has been delays. (We start at past 6:00 -at least- when we should have started at 5:30 pm.) The first was because of possible brownouts, seating arrangements, etc. while the second was due to room problems. We were told to go to our normal room, then we were told to move to this other room. We wait a long time for our teacher to appear. Then we were made to go away by the Behavioral Science teacher since it was their room, after all. Then we go to our original room, which is locked. >_< Then we go to the next room which is small, cramped, and has no aircon. So there is a shortage of armchairs, so people have to get them also.

Of course our teacher lamented the uselessness of his prepared seat plan instead of soothing our ruffled/smashed emotions. Interestingly enough, he still hasn't gotten the memo that David is in New Zealand and isn't going to claim his slot in Intarmed anytime soon. (Even though David-san has not attended any Math class ever.) >_< Donk.

It's unfair. The other classes were allowed to use calculators. We were the only ones not allowed to use them. Stupid biased piyok man teacher. (What a description.) I know we may be erm, considered highly intelligent, but it's unfair to deny us something granted to all the other Math 17 classes in UP Manila! *is bitter*


Philo class musings... )


Belated Happy Birthday Clar-san!!! :)


Hey, is everyone going to the Alumni Homecoming on September 2? I want to go! :) I hope I can go. O.o

Maybe I should start another contest (and give the prize out then, if the winner isn't out of the country - of course if you're from Intarmed, I can give it directly. If you're neither, I'll figure out a way. Haha.). LBC hates me. (Sorry Josef-san!!! I'll try again this weekend!) Would anyone join, though? Haha.


Obviously I am procrastinating from finishing homework for my very unit-heavy yet brain-numbing-in-more-ways-than-one subject.

I have a new theory about why Mr. Teacher's always late and sweaty, though.


If I ever say goodbye, let's hope I'm strong enough to not falter and run back and say 'Hello again.'
rewritethepast: (neopet petpet)
The scanner hates me. It's making weird sounds.

Ah, I forgot to connect it to the computer. Stupid Raine.


ACET tomorrow.

I don't think I'll ever be ready for it. >_<


On Tuesday a chair fell on me. Yay. I now have a huge unattractive bruise on my leg. Very seductive. All because of English.

Let's hope my parents don't see it so that I won't get buzzkilled (rather, killed with razors).


Physics Lab Report sucks. Didn't sleep one hour because of it. Died in the Chem LT because of it. Had to copy someone's math hw because of it. Not to mention the layout's anal.

Who the hell cares if it's the format of a scientific journal? I doubt any learned scientist would want to read about scattering iron filings on a piece of cardboard.

The teacher who devised that format has problems.


I shouldn't hate STR. My groupmates are great, the topic is great, and I'm getting too attached to our tetrahymena cultures.

Sadly, I still hate STR. Maybe it's because nothing will please my teacher, or that she insists that we report on nonexistent results on Monday, or she always goes off somewhere when anyone from our class feels like consulting her.

Or something like that.


Am getting attached to the tetrahymena. Must desist. They'll only have enough nutrients for a month. I'll have to kill them in a month. Who knows how much of magnetic field exposure can they take before dying (our proposal)?



Someone watched porn right in front of me in AdProg. On my computer.

Damn. I'm staying next to Jean-san now. And forever.

I feel the need to bathe myself in alcohol. Or something.

And no, Marx-san, I don't ever want to know the pleasures of such things.


He's super cute. ^_^ And he's brilliant.

And I think I'm allergic to one of his classmates' perfume. >_<


January 2008

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