rewritethepast: (sad)
Today, I got robbed.

You know what I lost? Not my cellphone (which is admittedly old but still is a cameraphone), not my wallet (which is admittedly ugly and old), nor my room keys (eh?).

Let me retell the story so that I will laugh at it when I'm old and my straight hair is pure gray. (Hopefully LJ won't crash or anything by then.)

I was in Robinson's Place Mall, walking towards National Bookstore with Joan's handouts (a Math and a Hum one - the Hum one being a short story) in my hand (since I needed to xerox them), when suddenly this tall dark-skinned guy holding a yellow sotanghon cup (with chocolately substance inside, oddly, not sotanghon), bumps into me hard and walks off at a fast pace. (My hip still hurts from it.) I feel something tugging at the papers (the handouts) held by my thumb at that brief instant, but I don't realize what happened exactly. When I come to, I enter National Bookstore and look for the photocopying machine. I find it, and I notice that the Kom handout is missing and it's only the Math handout in my hand.

Now, I didn't think of the guy automatically. I backtracked all my steps and found no Hum short story. Yes, I even asked Customer Service. Gaaah.

I dazedly go back home and check my things. Yes, the Hum short story is missing. My cellphone is still alive and well. My wallet is still intact with the correct amount of money inside. My keys are still present. My handbag isn't slashed. The Math handout is still alive and well (but unxeroxed).

I'm not sure exactly if it's Sotanghon Cup guy who stole the handout but I guess someone did at that moment. (Because I think I had the handout before I reached that side of the mall.) There's no other reasoning behind it, unless I just imagined the tugging at the papers or the handout vanished into thin air.

And thus is my first erm, experience of being robbed actively (I did get some of my stuff stolen in Pisay, but they were stolen while I wasn't around).

Waaaaaaah. I have a feeling my family will laugh at me this weekend. My sister told me that one is lucky if one survives a year without getting robbed in Manila. And now I have been robbed. Of Joan's short story.

I swear, my life is definitely odd, stupid, laughable if it weren't my life, or an indeterminate combination of the three.

And I needed to read that short story for tomorrow! :( It was the unedited version with the sex scene we must analyze! (I only have the edited copy in my Hum book, the one with the cut sex scene.)

Good evening 2007, this is definitely an odd year.


It's been a week and two days since you first texted. It's been four days since I gave you my final answer.

In three days, I'll make my final move. Don't say I didn't warn you, because it's been a long time coming.

Not that I think you read my blog or anything, but our mutual friend deserves an explanation. And I don't trust anything coming out of your mouth or thought of by your mind.


Warning. Not as gruesomely descriptive as the last entry, but still. Read when not eating? )


Sure enough, there was an earthworm on the rug. )


The memories of all the fires I watched from the Pisay oval last school year came back to me in a flash when there was a fire at the Supreme Court on Monday. I didn't actually see the fire but I did see five fire trucks whiz past the Robinson's Place Mall heading in the Supreme Court's general direction. Apparently its Session Hall was the one with the fire, and faulty wiring might have caused it.

I don't know if this is a freak accident or if it was intentional because apparently some cases which are to be heard by the Supreme Court will be postponed because of said fire. I just know that when I passed the Supreme Court at around 9:40 pm later, the Supreme Court building looked very very wet. >_<


When Cybill, Joan, and I passed our College (College of Medicine Building otherwise known as Calderon Hall), there were a lot of media present - you know, reporters, microphones, cameramen, the works. We three wondered what had happened. We tried to observe for a while, but we saw nothing in particular.

Apparently, this is what happened. )

When I decided to go to school here, I didn't think that there would be so many newsworthy things of this nature... I mean, there are protests here all the time (especially since we're near the Department of Justice, the Court of Appeals, the Supreme Court) and there are always TV crews and all but these are weird things. And I guess these things don't happen in other places.

Hmmm. Going to school here is definitely not boring.


I think I better stop now before my head hurts again. I wanted to write more, but I think I described enough med-related stuff for today.

Last thing: I miss Jman's entries. :(
rewritethepast: (resignation)
LadyMed 2006 is over, under the carpet, closed, done, done.

Let me just say that my eyes and ears have both contributed to making me mentally scarred for life.

Even my synesthesia could not save me from the scary sights...

Imagine guys wearing bikini tops. >_< And they actually look like they have breasts (I mean... you know what I mean.)!!! >_< It was creepy because during the evening gown competition I saw one of the contestant's fake boobs. >_< Not to mention all the sexual innuendoes... and the gyrations of Fingerella with her surfboard!!! >_< I know I'm 18, I've watched Brokeback Mountain not to mention certain other films with such things but... gah.

Fingerella: All my life I've wanted to get inside a woman's body...

I am seriously wondering if we (Intarmed 2013) will be as insane/perverted as the other batches with a few years below the belt. Maybe UP Med Students = insanity + perversion + intelligence (haha).

I'm happy that our talent portion was really nice though :) The remix of the Beauty and the Beast theme song was cool. :) Although I guess ours was the least sexually suggestive of all of the talent samples... wala pa kaming alam diyan eh. O.o Hahahaha. Tsaka Belle (the character we have) isn't exactly a sex kitten. Then again, all of the Disney Princesses were not sex kittens per se(except Ariel, I guess, with her magical never-getting-destroyed shell bra and Jasmine with her belly-baring outfit but still) but after tonight...

I don't think I can watch Cinderella, Little Mermaid, Sleeping Beauty, and Aladdin without thinking perverse thoughts ever again. (Nooooo my childhood days!!!) Wala na. Mulan nalang ang papanoorin ko. Wait, crossdresser naman si Mulan. Nooooooooooooo.

Ok. Lion King na nga lang. (Noooo don't destroy that for meeeeee!!!!)

I'd like to share pictures, but I'm still waiting for someone to post them online.

It's really demoralizing when guys who dress up as girls look prettier than you, btw. :(

Well, I guess I have better hair? Demo, it doesn't count since they all wore wigs.

Ka-batch pala ng ate ko yung nanalo sa LadyMed. :) :) Ang galing nga naman niya sumayaw eh, parang en pointe na siya tapos nagfififth position pa siya pati almost grand jete at pas de deux (pero dalawa yung naglift sa kanya) :) :) Pero nakakatakot ang codename niya, Jenny Thalia. I repeat, med school looks like a long road to perversion.

At least it isn't a boring road :)


Life scares me when someone dances holding a sharp implement with the blade exposed.

I believe all those at a certain place at a certain time last week will agree with me on this.

From this alone it is assured that Intarmed life is going to be a series of heart attacks, day by day, week by week, and as the years fly by.

Ah well, at least it won't be boring.


Reflection on something. )


Who said coincidence doesn't exist? )


You're making me smile when I shouldn't be.

I should be scared of you, but you're too damn nice.

Thanks. :)


Tomorrow = Math Dept. Exam No. 2.

Please do not let me fail the honor of Pisay students everywhere (or everyone's expectations of us).

I've already failed it enough. :(


This is cheery. According to the program I got from watching "Walang Himala" (a play about Edsa 1 and what it has done for us) Sunday, this is my fortune (rather, kapalaran). (In fairness, may horoscope ang program.)

Nung mapatalsik si Marcos, nagpabuntis ka sa boyfriend mo dahil tingin mo aayos ang Pilipinas. Nang mapatalsik si Erap, nagpabuntis ka uli sa boyfriend mo dahil akala mo aayos na ang Pilipinas. Ngayon galit mga anak mo sa iyo kasi bakit mo raw sila ipinganak gayong ang hirap ng buhay sa Pilipinas.

Is it even possible to be pregnant when you're not even conceived yet? (Since I was probably conceived in 1987, and Edsa was in 1986.) And I was only grade 6 when Erap was offed! >_<

I think I would have demanded marriage if I had gotten pregnant or something, though. O.o Or gotten married first. Haha.

The rest of the cheery stuff. )

I think Capricorn got the best fortune. At least they'll meet their true love. Then they'll kill each other. Still. Better than the rest. >_<


Here we go again, with all these leaves and flowers whirling around us. It's like first year all over again, except we're not under the yellow and pink flowered trees anymore.

And even if there's a whole lot of cement separating us, there's still a place where no one can stop our meeting, stop our looking at each other under the starry night sky.

At least we don't have to run from the Pisay goats anymore :) They did attack John Mar's plastic in first year. =P

Site Meter

rewritethepast: (hoe)
Take a guava from a guava tree. How? )


Because apparently a lot of us are reading erm, descriptive lit since it's required. >_<

Let's see the sample! )


I loved Tuesday's Math 17 class. :)

Wala kasing prof eh :) :)


I do not like crunches. My abdominal muscles kill me. And I cannot eat afterwards. Or laugh. Or anything.


The Fellowship of the School Supplies, Searching for the Clear Folders )


Everything seems less bad after a dreamless sleep.

Except STR (talks from experience).

And now, my Pisay-Intarmed classmates now torture me with old Research Manuals and stat-tests talk and give me even more nightmares of what was once my Monday-Double-Period-Good-Morning!


LadyMed practice is in full swing. (If you don't know, it's the competition between the College of Medicine batches wherein each batch dresses up a straight guy as a girl.) I am still disturbed by the sight of JF dancing with a guy. Anyway.

I am in the props division, which is headed by Athena. Since it's Athena who's heading it, you know the props are going to kick ass. :)


Ok, I knew this would eventually happen. But I blocked it out of my head hoping that it never would. But it did. )


Ok, I've been talking to the Pisay-Intarmed people who read my lj and some people thought (for a moment) that my lie was true. >_< And that it was believable, if they didn't see me every day in Intarmed.

I'm sorry. I'm happy here. Honest. I'm not regretting not taking up Chem Eng. I'm not regretting anything except the fact that I still miss him.

However, I'm going to set something straight. It's true that the guy I love said those bad things. "He" is not my conscience/inner voice. That's the ugly truth, that the guy I love can say (and did say) such ugly things to anyone.

And maybe that's more despicable than any lie I can make up.


I am not going to give in and say "I'm sorry." I'm not going to let you say "I told you so," because there's still no truth in what you said. I don't believe we have a chance, ever even had one.

But I am going to tell you something, darling, since I still can't say truthfully that I don't love you anymore.

I miss you. Although I know what you're going to tell me when you see me again.

"You regret it, don't you? Intarmed?"

Maybe I do. Maybe I don't. It's not your business to know now, with what you've done to me, my heart, my life.

Regardless, I'm not going to take anything I said above back.
rewritethepast: (resignation)
Exactly one year ago, I was a wreck. It was the day before I took my UPCAT, and I certainly didn't want to do anything other than curl up and die, for various reasons (physical, mental, emotional). I was dead sure that I wouldn't pass the UPCAT because of so many reasons but the most important being that he had told me the day before that I sucked in Physics. Granted, I do suck at it but it's probably not the nicest thing to say right before the UPCAT. Not to mention the importance of the person who said it to me. Not to mention the first class (double period, mind you) I'd have on Monday would be the indomitable STR taught by the equally indomitable Ma'am Y. who would surely bash and wreck our STR proposal to the point of no return and likewise play that sadistic game with our brains and emotions that would make me want to run and cry and sleep in Math if not for my equally indomitable yet infinitely kinder Ma'am S.

Well... )


Recap of the Week, tabulated:
1. Kim, ang galing mo :) Intarmed has been avenged (sa Mindbreakers)!
2. I am traumatized by JF twirling Bean around in his arms... (note that Bean is a guy)
3. I realized how sensitive I am to sound (and the colors I see because of it) yet again when my classmates made a din while reviewing for PE's written exam. I honestly couldn't see anything in there other than multiple colors washing over each other (and obviously not my handwritten notes), so I left the room and studied in the corridor with Danni.
4. I had only one KOM class this week, and it was already too much, dangit!!!!
5. The only arcade game I'm good at is one that doesn't give any tickets :(
6. BTIC is good :) Cherry Marble = love.
7. I was told something that would have broken my heart a few weeks ago but now is more of a relief. Good job, self.
8. I am writing something that seems to be related to a certain first year piece. Although now, instead of it being set in English class, it's set in a class wherein I contemplate the number of times my teacher goes piyok every 20 minutes in it.
9. Intarmed debates in Philo = painful throbbing in head. My notes = gibberish.
10. Ardynne scares me. A lot. I thought I was getting used to him, but what he did (to me) on Thursday is very traumatic and nightmare-rendering. Then again, I think anyone would be traumatized by what he did.


Speaking of looking back, I had a dream on Thursday. (Okay, a nightmare.) Guess what was the Star?

STR. Specifically, there being an oral defense the next day and me not having anything of our final paper nor visuals. >_< As in zero. Zilch. As in wala nga Intro. Lalo pa results. And my STR groupmates nowhere to be seen (but this is usual).

Damnit. I got a 1.75 already as my final grade, dangit (sorry po, mataas na ito talaga sa akin dahil Ma'am Y. kami)! Make STR stop being my fear already!

You know, we have this yahoo group for STR. Up to now, I still dread opening my email because I keep thinking "Oh shoot, baka may email nanaman si Ma'am Y." Then I hit myself on the head because I remember that I'm in college now. No more Pisay STR to haunt me.

When will it stop, though?

Maybe when I finish Med School. Haha.
rewritethepast: (determined)
As today is supposedly Livejournal Fake Day (or at least what's left of it, anyway) I shall make up a lie.

(And no, that's not the lie. But am I lying now? Brain sprain, darlings.) Let me call on the literal meaning of my username and say this: What if? (I repeat, this is just speculation. There are many lies in this work because of the nature of the date.)

And obviously, this is somewhat based on what happened here, here, and here. (Except those are 95%-100% true.)

Let the lies begin, and there we go. )

The truths and the lies in the story, enumerated to make it simple. )

Ahh. Now that that's out of my system, I need to go sleep. Or not.

(I think I suck at this lying thing, because there's still a lot of truth in it - at least the gut emotion in there, not to mention all those little insecurities that burn at you late in the night and make you wish for a sledgehammer. At least it was an attempt at lying. Think of this as writing practice, Raine.)


[This is written past 12:00 am, so no more lies. I'm just a lazy person when it comes to changing the time and date of my entries.]

Today, rather, yesterday was interesting. I have discovered that I like Cherry Marble from BTIC. :) And there's a promo, 2 scoops in a waffle cone for 60 pesos. (Pimp.)

Gbox is fun. :) Joan, Dingdong, CJ, Nil, and I played games there and racked up 235 tickets. We claimed 210 for a Sakura keychain. :) It's funny that the kiddie-ish version of basketball shooting gave out more tickets than the hardcore one. >_<

It is suspicious that one of my classmates ate at Sbarro's for lunch. Alone. At Sbarro's. And when he showed up for NatSci, he was wearing a pink shirt as opposed to his earlier white shirt (seen worn at Sbarro's).

Actually, something juicy happened but it is not my place to tell it. Let me just say it involves a wild-goose chase, a Neji keychain, a small pouch bag, and three tired people, one of which is me.

Actually, I'm just too tired now. >_< I'll talk about it on Sunday or later or something.

Telling lies is harder than I thought. Spinning them so that they seem a bit believable is harder. >_< I hope this doesn't happen again next year. (I'll just ignore whatever [profile] frankthecomic says.)


My KOM teacher wanted us to find GROs for his subject (and for whom, maybe?).

Good job, teach. O.o


There is this guy who claims to do scientific palm readings near the Supreme Court. He's sort of like an institution at UP Manila, supposedly.

Normally, when I pass by his erm, sidewalk space, he doesn't have a customer. This Monday and Tuesday his business was brisk (everytime I walked by, he had a customer - I pass his sidewalk space going to GAB, going to get lunch, going for afternoon classes, going home). On Thursday and Friday, he was gone all day. (He did leave his sign and chair though.)

Exactly how do you read a palm scientifically??? (Well, I've read that someone with soft palms is probably a lazy person - like me, I guess, but that can't be all of it.)


On Thursday morning, when I walked to GAB there was this little stream of blood on the sidewalk. (Ok, not little. Enough to be creepy.)

On Thursday afternoon, it was still there, and drying.

On Friday morning, it was still there and almost dry.

On Friday afternoon it was pretty much completely dry (and powdery).

I don't really want to know where/whom/what it came from. I know I heard something suspicious on Wednesday night but...


I really am tired and will now retreat and watch anime now. Or sleep. Or something.
rewritethepast: (hmm)
I thought that I'd escape seeing frat rumbles - or at least see less of them since there's less space there to actually have a frat rumble - since I chose to go to UP Manila.

They don't have rumbles at UP, they have it at Robinsons' Place Ermita. >.< When lots of Pisay people were off shopping for Cris' gift I went off to mail something via LBC and right in the middle of the mall, there was this rumble/chase/etc. happening. It was really disquieting especially since apparently they had come in from the other side of the mall.

Actually, I don't even think they were UP students. Why?

They had the typical high school male uniforms. >_< Maybe it's a frat at their high school...

No, they didn't actually land that much punches on each other. They just ran and ran and pulled clothes and stuff. Then the police came running after them and they ran off into the streets.

If I had gotten there around 2 minutes earlier I would have probably gotten hit by the running men, so I'm glad that I got there late for once. :)

[Edit: No, the guys are probably not from MaSci.]


Tests, tests, and soon to come tests... )


Too bad dropping a subject equals leaving Intarmed. )


I want to go to the Camia outing on Wednesday but I have classes then :(


Apparently I am not as introverted as I perceive myself to be.

However, I'm still more introverted than most everyone in Intarmed. >.<


This is the first time I've been blackmailed in my whole life. At least, as far back as I can remember. )


Again, sorry for the last entry if I offended anyone. Honestly, I believe that my verbosity only gets me into trouble. See first year, where my little piece about love in a dark classroom made me infamous - and known by a lot of people who probably shouldn't have known me for anything other than that.


(Sort of inspired by Kel's posting a word problem)

I was answering a problem in Math 17 in advance (since I was getting bored of how my teacher insists on adding say constant c to both sides when you can just transpose). I don't like Math as a rule (sorry Jman, Pauline, and Vinni =P), but I was amused by this question. I've never seen anything like it before. (Apparently neither has my seatmate fron Xavier, since he watched me solve it with amusement.)

The question plus the supposed solution )


Because I posted the aforementioned essay I wrote in first year, Trebor read it for the first time. Because of this, on Wednesday all the Pisay-Dil Intarmed people (except Joanne) decided to devote minutes to figuring out who he is based on my paltry clues.

Noooo it's doomed to be found out considering their intelligence!!! Especially Ardynne's intelligence!!! Doomed, I tell you, doomed!!!

And Trebor didn't like noticed my skirt that day. Actually he said "mataruch skirt mo!" and "mataray skirt mo!" Wearing boots with it didn't seem to help the image... (Trebor, Joan, etc. = gothy, "I am superior to you, don't dare talk to me.")

I should post pictures of said skirt, but I have no digicam. >_< Maybe when I wear it again in UP Manila... but I need a cameraperson...

[/edit] Trebor is not evil :) :) :) Bagay raw yung skirt ko sa akin :) :)


I don't know how I'm surviving without hearing your name from anyone's lips.

And when you get mentioned, it's all I can do to not badger the person with incessant questions.

Thing is, I just want to hear you speak again, and if I can't have that I want to hear about you.

But I can't ask without being obvious, so I'll just not ask at all and hope that you do something outrageous so that even we Pisay people here in Manila will gossip about it. :)
rewritethepast: (Anna)
I think the first years now are weird.

Ok, I'll explain.

It was Graviton's PE time (last week). I was, as usual, sitting and basically doing nothing. This first year comes up to me and shows me a sign with "Lucky Charms are on the 13th floor."

What 13th floor? Lucky Charms? The cereal?

So I nod and the kid walks around the track oval backwards. Yes, backwards. Twice.

And then he comes to me again and shows the sign. Nothing's changed, and I still don't know where the 13th floor is.

I nod, and he leaves. Walking backwards. Again.

I swear, the kids today are finding crack more easily now.


Considering I slept in the middle of the Chem LT last Friday, I'm glad I scraped a 43/50. It's a far cry from Wilson-san and Neil-san, but ah well. It's a start.


Yearbook Committee Task: Get the full names of all the faculty and staff members by unit.

Okay. Toddle toddle off to the Personnel and CISD offices.

Why are there no first names on the lists they give????

Gah. Now I have to visit all the units and ask for the first names of people.

Meep. And I still don't have candid pictures of myself.


I can't look at him this week without laughing.

For some reason, his hair sucks this week.
rewritethepast: (Anna)
Perio week next week. Not to mention more STR, an Econ and Physics long test, and various other little requirements that nag at my brain from time to time.

Damn. Byebye internet, Tactics Ogre, anime, books, etc.

lala STR = byebye study weekend )

AdProg = love. But I'm disturbed by that email in Don-kun's inbox. I think I need to purge my eyes. Or pour alcohol over them.


Don-kun: "I'm J. M. Barrios, trained victim."

Now I know why I got "Very High" in Level 2 in that Dante's Inferno test. Not to mention that "Extreme" I got on Level 7. Damn, I need to douse myself in alcohol. Or at least my brain, so that the bad mental pictures will stop.


I still want to know what got written on the board Chem time yesterday that I missed (since I helped Jasper-kun with his lab report). ^_^ I'll offer a pack of ChocNut to anyone who tells me what it was. >_<


So I saw him again today. The guy who I fell out of love with around this year.

Nothing's there anymore. I didn't see purple anymore, I didn't swoon or fail the tests afterward, or trip or do something equally embarassing in front of him. I just said "Hi" and he waved, and that was it. Nothing anymore. It was like seeing any other guy, except I kept wondering "Aren't I supposed to blush or something?" and stuff all throughout the encounter.

I felt so much for him back then, cried over him, covered up for all his mistakes, took the blame for his larcenies. I cut classes to look at him, thought about him almost all the time, failed Math because I saw him before each Math test I took.

And now, I'm in fourth year and so is he, and there's nothing more to our relationship. He's just a guy I was classmates with in 1st year, and I'm just that girl he waves to when he sees me sometimes.

So I'm not in love with him anymore. I'm just in love with the other guy, the guy who told me my Physics grade sucks.

Either way, apparently, I can't fall in love with nice guys. Or I fall for guys that just ace Physics. Or whatever. And they're all from Ruby '06, apparently.
rewritethepast: (resignation)
Physics sucks. I'm no super brain like Neil-san, but I thought I understood most of the lesson.

Damn that reality check (aka Physics long test).

Nico-san kept singing throughout the period in the front lobby (while we took the test in the Physics room). I'd blame my (inevitable) low grade on such, but his singing actually made me focus a little more on my test.

Not that anything will be salvagable from that test anyway. At least our motor thing worked (thanks to IE-san and Anna-san).

Ganyan na pala ako kasama, Inferno style... )

I feel really sick now, contemplating my Physics grade. Maybe I won't be able to go to school tomorrow.
rewritethepast: (neopet petpet)
The scanner hates me. It's making weird sounds.

Ah, I forgot to connect it to the computer. Stupid Raine.


ACET tomorrow.

I don't think I'll ever be ready for it. >_<


On Tuesday a chair fell on me. Yay. I now have a huge unattractive bruise on my leg. Very seductive. All because of English.

Let's hope my parents don't see it so that I won't get buzzkilled (rather, killed with razors).


Physics Lab Report sucks. Didn't sleep one hour because of it. Died in the Chem LT because of it. Had to copy someone's math hw because of it. Not to mention the layout's anal.

Who the hell cares if it's the format of a scientific journal? I doubt any learned scientist would want to read about scattering iron filings on a piece of cardboard.

The teacher who devised that format has problems.


I shouldn't hate STR. My groupmates are great, the topic is great, and I'm getting too attached to our tetrahymena cultures.

Sadly, I still hate STR. Maybe it's because nothing will please my teacher, or that she insists that we report on nonexistent results on Monday, or she always goes off somewhere when anyone from our class feels like consulting her.

Or something like that.


Am getting attached to the tetrahymena. Must desist. They'll only have enough nutrients for a month. I'll have to kill them in a month. Who knows how much of magnetic field exposure can they take before dying (our proposal)?



Someone watched porn right in front of me in AdProg. On my computer.

Damn. I'm staying next to Jean-san now. And forever.

I feel the need to bathe myself in alcohol. Or something.

And no, Marx-san, I don't ever want to know the pleasures of such things.


He's super cute. ^_^ And he's brilliant.

And I think I'm allergic to one of his classmates' perfume. >_<

rewritethepast: (Default)
Somehow, everything's stupid and brilliant at the same time. Well, except CAT. That's just stupid. I mean, Sir-The-Pink is going to make me take a practical test on taking attendance? Puh-leeze.

I don't know whether to be amused by my classmates' STR project or scared. I like the innovativity of their project because it helps in food procurement and finds a purpose for useless items, but it involves harvesting stinky feathers that are starting to rot (Neil and co.'s). The smell is very...

Ah well, everyone who smelled Neil-san, Andok-san and Eko-san would know it. Sir Talaue describes it as "pwet," but didn't elaborate too much on it.

At least they're doing something though. I live in terror of whatever Ma'am Yazon will make us do every week for STR.


He's still brilliant though. I adore him and I see him everyday, but he's stupid for not knowing. Lucky guy.

I can't even say what I feel about him. It's not just a crush anymore, it hasn't been for quite a long time. It's not lust, nor is it obsession. It's just there, and it means the world to me.

Just seeing him frown or smile or even breathe makes my day a little less painful. I don't know what I'm feeling anymore, except that this is the only thing keeping my heart beating.

Shoot. Damnit, I'm in love with him, and I can't escape it.

January 2008

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